Category: Brain

I am HOME! With all your prayers, God’s good hand, and a (partially) functioning brain later, We
made it. I have a whole lot less hair, a few more scars, and my babies and husband are within arms reach. I made it out protected and on my knees with gratitude for you all. Thank you all for praying without ceasing. Do you know how I know your many prayers went up?  Every so often I am struck with {literally} unbearable pain. It might last one minute, it might last a couple hours, at anytime in between meds….and I feel it. I feel the dark deep. It hurts, and I can’t physically carry the burden, the raging pain. Jesus is quick to remind me He is here, His yoke is light. And I am able to feel and see what truly resting it all on Him is. It doesn’t remove the pain. Or remove the fear in pain, however, the peace that follows these moments of surrender are not of this world. Those prayers….they keep me upright. They keep me smiling and able to love on and cuddle my littles. They are keeping me here. Many of you who read this, I have never met. Please give your babies extra love, encourage one another by continuing to pray for each other, and don’t ever forget the gift we have been given in this set of answered prayers. (more…)

pain. suffering. pain. suffering. It’s like a bad dream involving a John Secada CD, stuck on repeat where no one can seem to find the ‘off’ button. Lately, I have been hearing the broad range of the big questions relating God to the life He has for us. ‘why do bad things happen to good people? Why does God watch this occur and not intervene? It is not fair. Doesn’t He love us? WHY?! These questions are not unfounded, however, they ARE admittedly uncomfortable for me to address. They really aren’t my questions to answer. ‘For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.’
Isaiah 55:9
In the moment of my own pain and agony, my flesh cries, ‘SAVE ME!! HELP ME!!! Please Lord!!’ When I set some time to the side to make sense of it all, guess what? I have come to the conclusion that there is no worldly sense in any of it. Not one person can tell me with perfect diction or authority when this will end. How? God could be preparing us for something much bigger that we are about to step into. Maybe, in His kindness, He needs to give us/ you/ me the credentials to enter into a particular an area of uncertainty in this life. Perhaps this tree needs serious pruning to help us, (me), be more Christlike, walk though these circumstances in His light, regardless of how this might feel’. Perhaps He wants us to be a tool to share for others to benefit. Or even at the very least a chance for us to point to real hope of the grace of God. (more…)

LAST update on this brain issue/ recovery. Don’t cry for me Argentina. The truth is I am doing well! Back to normal in almost every department-Huge praise. This whole enchilada has taught me more about humility than I would like to admit, but that is good. I needed it;) God’s mercy over arches any lesson I could pretend I learned from this. He is so good to us, ALL the time. Regardless of circumstance, I can truthfully say, His Word is true and ever comforting and that is more than enough to spur me on.
This week was my first week solo with the kids, and I can’t tell you how wonderful it was to have the capacity to be a mom all by myself. (ok I had my sweet mother in law’s help Monday and sweet sister in law Wednesday) Even still, praise God for allowing me to step back in my role! Granted I have had some crazy person moments when being over zealous and braving the park-(der)-with 3. I was the banchee like mom screaming her kids into obedience. Don’t worry, it didn’t work, and I learned I am not ready for that circus…..yet.

A couple items of note:
a) I am over hats. They are so not me, but I so don’t have a choice, SO I will do you all a favor and wear ’em anyway.
b) I am driving. It is rough, and I am pretty sure all 3 kids get car sick, but hey, we make it point A to point B dent-less.
c) foot is still numb. Hence my amazing driving abilities. It’s cool though. If that is the worst thing I take away from brain tumor-dom, I am a happy woman.
d) I am so deeply thankful for each and every person who has helped us through this-seriously I love you all. I don’t know how to properly thank you. Between our AMAZING parents, WONDERFUL Church body, and Ridiculously AWESOME friends, this journey has been joyful, and something to be thankful for. You all have forever changed my heart! I love you xo

Now that I am done writing about recovery stuff, get excited…the next post will be about baby poops. 🙂 j/k it is the 3rd. It will be about why the 3rd never gets photographed and why she keeps wearing the same 4 outfits and why I haven’t utilized ONE bow.

Thank you sweet prayer warriors. How blessed I am by your faithfulness to lift me up in prayer, asking for God’s will in this whole situation. Thank you so much! The appointment was a smashing success, could not have gone better.
Dr. says I am clear to drive!! Only problem is my reaction time is more on the Eor side of things and my right foot is numb which makes driving kind of overwhelming and scary. So… I might not be hurrying off to do donuts in the parking lot as I had hoped.
Radiation is out as the risks outweigh the benefits, so the next step is another surgery. Which the doctor says can take place when I am recovered from this one. He is letting me choose when, and he gave me 6 months to a year. I think a year is looking good. If they do the surgery there is a 5% chance of regrowth, if they don’t do it, there is almost 100% chance of regrowth, so I am much more comfortable with the idea of another shaved head;) He says my recovery is going as well as expected and he wants me to start transitioning into normal life again at my own pace. Exactly what I needed to hear! So nice to not get a list of ” you cant’s”. Can you tell I am not a rule follower?
Praising God for His hand in each and every step of this- and thanking Him for the continual mercy He shows. What a wonderful God we serve. I am a happy lady- completely content with what I have been given. I worship louder, pray harder and love a whole lot deeper. (just to get all Tim McGraw on you.) It has been a good thing and I am thankful my hope and trust is in a loving God whose provisions have made this journey joyful.