Just a warning, this is a boring post. If you are here for drama, feel free to wander away. I had my 3 doctor appts this last week. And the week before. My Barbara says everything is too soon to tell what the damage is, and she took more stitches out, also the nuerologist says my brain is molasses. I didn’t really need to pay the co-pay to hear this. I KNOW. All meds are the same, he didn’t change anything, for which I am thankful. He was very kind and said if I don’t have a seizure in the next 22 days, (Imightbecountingtheminutes), I can drive! Weeeee! The concern is numb feet. So I will have to figure something out in learning how to put pressure on the pedal, or something like that. The truth is my right foot was numb after the 1st surgery, and I was ok to drive. It’s not like running. Watch out people. 17 months of no driving, and I am ready to giddy-up with my mommy wagon.
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Category: Brain
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Rocket Randomness
This week is VBS for our church. My sweet faithful friend has offered to wrangle up my people, all with her brood and cart them all to church. {without me} True love right there. This last year she has taught me so much about friendship and sisterhood, and being real and I love her. Smooches M. I have been blessed with the best of the best in the friendship department, and ya know what? I am grateful. As a lonely 7th and 8th grader who had no friends and bad hair, I still remember the painful void and insecurity middle school brought with all it’s big girl problems and did I mention? no friends. Today I stand a whole lot older, {with bad hair}, but my heart is full, and I see had God not given me the stark contrast I would not see the blessing of friendship He has graciously poured out. You people who love us, encourage us and care for us…you have given us such an incredible gift. Thank you for your friendship and care. It will be a great day when I am able to reciprocate and do the same for you. (more…)
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longest run-on post ever…
Remember all the talk and prayer needed for a functioning shunt? Here’s why we needed that miracle to work:
Cat scan #9see the flat titanium plate on top? Cool beans.
Cat scan/ MRI #10 (a week later)
Yep. The little dent/ bump on top was the exit route for the CSF. The black space on top of my brain is fluid smashing my brain. Not like I have that much to work with anyway, but, ya know. I would like to salvage whatever brain power I have.
Back to why I posted- results!!! You all have so kind to ask. The very expensive nuclear 4 day test I took last week, (I pray we don’t have to pay for), showed the shunt IS working!!! No more leaky-leaky. Thank you praying friends! Wow. Overcome with gratitude. What a perfectly answered prayer. This means I am home for good, Lord willing. The next big hurdle is figuring out what we can do with this remnant: -
Home… take #43
I am HOME! With all your prayers, God’s good hand, and a (partially) functioning brain later, We
made it. I have a whole lot less hair, a few more scars, and my babies and husband are within arms reach. I made it out protected and on my knees with gratitude for you all. Thank you all for praying without ceasing. Do you know how I know your many prayers went up? Every so often I am struck with {literally} unbearable pain. It might last one minute, it might last a couple hours, at anytime in between meds….and I feel it. I feel the dark deep. It hurts, and I can’t physically carry the burden, the raging pain. Jesus is quick to remind me He is here, His yoke is light. And I am able to feel and see what truly resting it all on Him is. It doesn’t remove the pain. Or remove the fear in pain, however, the peace that follows these moments of surrender are not of this world. Those prayers….they keep me upright. They keep me smiling and able to love on and cuddle my littles. They are keeping me here. Many of you who read this, I have never met. Please give your babies extra love, encourage one another by continuing to pray for each other, and don’t ever forget the gift we have been given in this set of answered prayers. (more…) -
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pain. suffering. pain. suffering. It’s like a bad dream involving a John Secada CD, stuck on repeat where no one can seem to find the ‘off’ button. Lately, I have been hearing the broad range of the big questions relating God to the life He has for us. ‘why do bad things happen to good people? Why does God watch this occur and not intervene? It is not fair. Doesn’t He love us? WHY?! These questions are not unfounded, however, they ARE admittedly uncomfortable for me to address. They really aren’t my questions to answer. ‘For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.’
Isaiah 55:9
In the moment of my own pain and agony, my flesh cries, ‘SAVE ME!! HELP ME!!! Please Lord!!’ When I set some time to the side to make sense of it all, guess what? I have come to the conclusion that there is no worldly sense in any of it. Not one person can tell me with perfect diction or authority when this will end. How? God could be preparing us for something much bigger that we are about to step into. Maybe, in His kindness, He needs to give us/ you/ me the credentials to enter into a particular an area of uncertainty in this life. Perhaps this tree needs serious pruning to help us, (me), be more Christlike, walk though these circumstances in His light, regardless of how this might feel’. Perhaps He wants us to be a tool to share for others to benefit. Or even at the very least a chance for us to point to real hope of the grace of God. (more…)