are the joy of my life. Very rarely do I get embarrassed, especially by my little peeps. EXCEPT today. Today, they wrecked me. I won’t go into the adventures of playing trains and superman while trying to shower and get out of the house, but I will say, it was dramatic. Today’s FAIL was my fault of course-expecting them to function normally at the doctors which is now Kaiser. (which is a joyful experience in itself). So we check in, immediately the boys start playing owl running and hooting all over the lobby while flapping their arms. We caught everyone’s attention, and they weren’t smiling. Not even a pity grin. Then we moved on to melting down over the buttons at the elevators. You would have thought I cut someone’s arm off. Apparantly there are NEVER enough buttons. And no button is as fun as the bright red one that says alarm. After that display, we go to the doctors where they are threatened to stay in the 3×3 area I have assigned with my imaginary line/ rope. They did pretty well. B tatoo’d his leg with 99 cent store markers, and I am hoping it comes off without me busting out the ajax. All is going ok during the appointment, until the doc has me lose the chonies to do an, {clears throat} invasive ultrasound. 3 minutes in, B announces as he is dancing holding his wee wee he is going to pee himself. The doc was scared, it was awkward.
The appointment abrubtly ended and I learned a valuable lesson: taser guns are way underrated.
The bright side? I am sure Kaiser is thankful I provided complimentary birth control for everyone who witnessed the glory of what went down today. Even if 80% of the people are 30 years past the option of reproduction.
Category: motherhood
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My spawn
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Another store story.
Wow B. Thank you for crashing the shopping cart into the 5 foot tall display of coffee {thus taking the whole thing down} in front of EVERYONE and their mother at the store tonight. I can’t tell you how exciting it is to pick up 76 bags of coffee in a dress while people are laughing and pointing. But: you weren’t laughing, which made me love you a 100x more, and negated the wrongness of it. God has given you to me to shower me with love and mercy and to keep me neck deep in humilty. Well done buddy. Mommy will get you back in High School. I have every intention of being the lunch lady. Or the campus supervisor in the offensive yellow jacket with a taser gun and cane.
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kid stuff
I came across this website/ blog:
http://www.icanteachmychild.com/
I like this for many reasons, but here are a few:
a) I first read it as ‘I can’t eat my child’. (and, of course, that made me laugh) +10 points
b) I am not creative
c) I am a direction follower {I use those terms loosely}
d) I am not a teacher.Admittedly, I know how to make babies, not raise ’em. I have never had siblings from birth, I paid minimal attention in school, and have never successfully potty trained any of my 3 dogs. Which makes for an outstanding parent. It really is a miracle I am writing in english. We have entered a whole new world of learning and discovery, and I am feeling completely unqualified to raise my brood. Ever heard that poem, “at 3, my parents knew everything”, blah, blah…(it goes on about how we start thinking we know everything) *yawn*.
Any-hoo, I can assure you B would never say that. I can’t seem to find the right age appropriate explanations for things or lessons on how to be a kid. I am usually google-ing ‘why can’t spiders sing?’, ‘how bad does it hurt if I crawl in the oven’, you know; things of that nature. I can swallow my pride and admit that Big Mama needs to step up her game. After some activity/ educational material hunting, I honestly appreciated all the ideas. And the fact I am smart enough figure out how to do most of them was the double rainbow in this pot o’ gold. -
Addictions
Homeboy must have peanuts upon awaking or we have to endure 3 hour meltdowns. Thus, we have a lifetime supply of peanuts. And I cave every morning, because, well, he is cute.
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Life’s remote
There are times I truly wish I had the never attainable remote control for life. I have hardly any pictures from college/ high school and under. (what did we take pictures with in those old days anyway?) BUT; if I could rewind back to any time at all, on my list would be my date night with Ash and Old Chicago Nachos. In a heart beat. I laughed so hard I peed my pants, cried and choked. (and this was before the post pregnancy bladder which makes it even better). I came across a few other times I would gladly go right back to.
Wedding Night.
Birth of 1st baby…
Realizing my heart is on this bed sheet.As I searched through all 8300 pictures in the Mac beast, I didn’t have the patience to wait for the heathen of a spinning ball to stop putzing around. I had grand plans when thinking of all the fun pics I could put in here, then discovered I could be doing this till I am in depends, or get on the oreo eating bandwagon. So I of course am going to do the righteous thing and get me some oreos.
