Category: Brain

Well, remember when I said I wasn’t going to update and be all annoying again?? Yah, well….God has other plans and I once again need to lean on you all, asking for prayer and while I am at it, encourage you all. Remember how we were all praying for no infection? Well before I was discharged yesterday, my Dr. openly admitted he was absolutely shocked I had not gotten an infection, considering how long this problem had been persisting and the many issues and such. I knew this was not luck and shared with him how all of YOU were praying for me and how good God was to hear us.
The truth is, God doesn’t fix all things because we love Him. He doesn’t promise that or owe us anything. When He does specifically answer prayers where the odds are HIGHLY not in your favor, we want to, have to, can’t wait to, stand up and praise His name! That said, thank you merciful Lord! Many, many, many, many thanks to you all for incessantly praying. Praying. And praying. Please make sure to thank God for hearing us and giving us salvation from the infection trial, up to this point. As for the recover-and-go-home-to-heal-for-good-request, we all thought He answered that last night. I was discharged and able to go home and sleep with my husband and babies and spend some sweet time together. Chad awoke me to yet another wet pillow. Apparently there are more Kaiser employees I have yet to meet. 😉 I have spent the better part of the day in the ER with very loving parentals. After a long day of waiting, My surgeon came in with a cape on. Just kidding. He might as well have. He determined the shunt malfunctioned and is not draining as we all had hoped for. I have been readmitted and am scheduled to have surgery tomorrow early afternoon, where they will redo this bad boy. Truthfully, I share this because I need God’s intervention. I am begging on my behalf, our parents and children’s also and earnestly am asking God to use this ALL for His glory. Also there would be no infection, or brain injury. Of course I am begging for mercy, courage, and strength to press on. I am weary. Numb. Hurting. But I also know God does NOT make mistakes. I trust Him. I want you all to trust Him too. Not because He is a divine genie that gives us what we want at all times. Because, that friends, is A LIE. And frankly, I don’t really want to entrust eternity to that kind of God. But because He is so much higher, bigger and powerful than we could ever dare to imagine. Friends, please pray for me, my children, family and team of doctors as tomorrow and this next step of recovery unfolds.
“I lift my eyes up to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from The Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.”
Psalms 121
Much love and endless thanks, Michelle

So many of you all have been so kind and thoughtful to ask about the recovery, pray and petition on our behalf and show our family love like we have never seen before. You all have been gifts from God to us!
Many of you are kindly asking if I am recovered, and I am truthfully not sure there will ever be a firm YES tag on this one. At least here on planet earth. How sweet the day will be where we get our glorified bodies in heaven. I am realizing there is and can be joy in the “no’s” and “maybe’s” that come behind prayer as well as the encouraging and happily received yes’s. Kind nurses, sweet times with my husband and parents, cuddling with my little people, and giggling with friends. Sunday I woke up in another puddle of spinal fluid. My husband let me cry for a few minutes and helped get ready for my mom , as she came to take me to the ER to get admitted. Thursday, June 5, I had my fourth brain surgery. 3.5 hours to be exact. They installed a non-programmable shunt to properly drain the excess cerebral spinal fluid (leak) in my brain. Now, I have two glorious leaky spickets. Yes, STILL externally LEAKING!!! Can you believe it? Me either. I will have to attach the CT scan that shows the build up of this nonsense. One hole is drilled near my ear, where they cut a small horseshoe flap and shaved 1/3 of my hair off. Yep. 1/3. The big decision of the week is: do I just shave it all off? Or try to go Rihanna mahhhn, with half of my hair purposefully shaved? Perhaps with some pink sprinkles or something? The truth is if I try anything hip, the probability I will come out looking all Britney complete with smeared mascara and a baseball bat, is, well, overwhelming. (bunny trail.) back to the other holes: there is one in the back of my head/ neck, and lastly, one under my sternum. Apparently the fluid is supposed to drain to stomach cavity via a catheter type thing, they call a VP shunt. I am a self admitted wuss, so I will openly share I have 3 different areas of intense pain. As you might imagine; I am not being particularly cheerful. The Doctors can’t/ won’t send me home until they verify the holes/ leak has ceased and they can see the problem fixed on the ct. scan. Considering how much fluid I have lost, it is hard to see this resolve any time soon. Today the Dr. Ordered a CT Scan that showed the fluid was exactly the same so they over drained-this time on purpose-to get a better idea if the shunt is in fact working. The truth is, regardless of circumstance, we are called to be joyful and content despite the outcome. I am clearly riding this storm on the wings of my King. I could be coming home at the earliest Monday. If the shunt doesn’t work, we are talking a total redo. Please pray with Chad and I that this would not be the case. That through this recovery, I would not get meningitis and my body will heal as it should. That God would restore and use me for His good purpose. Thank you sweet friends! No more self centered updates after this. There are so much more worthy updates and news in what God is doing in other peoples lives we can be focusing on and praying for. Xoxo

“For this light momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.”
2 Cor. 4:17
What a promise and truth we can cling to in these moments of chaos and fear of what is to come. If you have repented of your sins and placed your trust in the sovereign God of the universe, an eternity of all things made right, (because of the blood shed by Jesus on the cross, and His resurrection 3 days later), is what we have to look forward to. Because I am God’s child, I rest in this truth and have been gifted the peace that surpasses all understanding. I am reminded our life is a vapor in comparison to a forever with God. Am I human and shed tears of disappointment? Yes, I have. And then I pray and lay my heart, worries and disappointment at His feet. God graciously gives me exactly what I need to press on with peace and joy. I see past the setbacks and pain, and firmly fix my eyes on an eternity with the Almighty God who is by definition; love, mercy and grace. He is so much more than these character traits, but in this moment, I praise Him because He IS these things, and this part of His nature has given me His supernatural strength to continue on, unafraid. Only by His strength am I full of hope, and hold fast to my Savior.
They restapled my head yesterday and immediately the wound opened and began leaking again. In fact my hair is all wet, and it has continued, so you know what this means, right? 1) God faithfully answered the prayer of wisdom in what to do or how to move forward QUICKLY. 2) I am having the shunt surgery. Hopefully later this week. Please pray it would be soon as I can’t go home until after the surgery/ recovery. No time/ date given. 3) I am smelling more and more like road kill. Back to the second point, they keep me aboard the Kaiser cruise ship. Please be praying for a successful surgery with no complications coupled with a setback free recovery. Pray my doctors, nurses and others around me would see Christ in me and God’s handprint in all this. I am humbled God has chosen our sacrificial, loving family and wonderful church family, Compass Bible Church, to walk through this drawn out, fruitful trial that has given many so much hope. Watching God at work in our life as well in the life of others has been one of the largest blessings to Chad and I. What a gift. Thank you praying friends. We love each and every one of you more than you will ever know. Xo

Sigh. Eye roll. Tears. Yes, she is leaking again. Everyone who knows me, knows I am a horrible rule follower. As in: aweful.
The exception is this recovery. I have been such a fanatic about faithfully doing every single thing the doctor told me so I would be assured any mishap would not be from my rebellious nature, but as a trial from the trustworthy God we serve. Sunday morning, I woke up in a puddle of fluid. They admitted me and I have been put on antibiotics. We had to wait for my surgeon to come in this morning to see what the next step was. 24 hours of hair drenched in CSF, I smell Ah-mazing. Let me tell you people: Bottle up this smell for the early dating years of your children. No purity talk needed. They restapled me, (for the 4th time). I earned myself 2 new wrinkles from grimacing in pain, and I survived the staple gun. They keep me here for 2-3 days to make sure there is no infection and will then release me on 90 degree bed rest 24/7 If I leak one drop, they take me into the operating room and do the shunt surgery. Please continue to keep our family in your prayers, that God would make His plan clear quickly so we can move forward. I am at peace with whatever happens, surgery or no surgery. I would prefer to say goodbye to this place, but it’s just…so….breathtaking. 😉
Also please pray for my husband, Chad. What an incredible load he has carried these last few months, years. He has served myself and our family with joy and kindness, non stop. Please pray that Chad would be given strength and endurance and some relief. Please also pray for my children, that they would be loving, obedient and a joy for whomever is watching them. That they would know they are loved despite the juggling. It most certainly feels like the 4th or 5th flat tire in a month, and we are soooo close to crossing the finish line. I know we will. This is a lesson in patience, trust and dependence. Thank you friends for loving us.