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“For this light momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.”
2 Cor. 4:17
What a promise and truth we can cling to in these moments of chaos and fear of what is to come. If you have repented of your sins and placed your trust in the sovereign God of the universe, an eternity of all things made right, (because of the blood shed by Jesus on the cross, and His resurrection 3 days later), is what we have to look forward to. Because I am God’s child, I rest in this truth and have been gifted the peace that surpasses all understanding. I am reminded our life is a vapor in comparison to a forever with God. Am I human and shed tears of disappointment? Yes, I have. And then I pray and lay my heart, worries and disappointment at His feet. God graciously gives me exactly what I need to press on with peace and joy. I see past the setbacks and pain, and firmly fix my eyes on an eternity with the Almighty God who is by definition; love, mercy and grace. He is so much more than these character traits, but in this moment, I praise Him because He IS these things, and this part of His nature has given me His supernatural strength to continue on, unafraid. Only by His strength am I full of hope, and hold fast to my Savior.
They restapled my head yesterday and immediately the wound opened and began leaking again. In fact my hair is all wet, and it has continued, so you know what this means, right? 1) God faithfully answered the prayer of wisdom in what to do or how to move forward QUICKLY. 2) I am having the shunt surgery. Hopefully later this week. Please pray it would be soon as I can’t go home until after the surgery/ recovery. No time/ date given. 3) I am smelling more and more like road kill. Back to the second point, they keep me aboard the Kaiser cruise ship. Please be praying for a successful surgery with no complications coupled with a setback free recovery. Pray my doctors, nurses and others around me would see Christ in me and God’s handprint in all this. I am humbled God has chosen our sacrificial, loving family and wonderful church family, Compass Bible Church, to walk through this drawn out, fruitful trial that has given many so much hope. Watching God at work in our life as well in the life of others has been one of the largest blessings to Chad and I. What a gift. Thank you praying friends. We love each and every one of you more than you will ever know. Xo

So many of you all have been so kind and thoughtful to ask about the recovery, pray and petition on our behalf and show our family love like we have never seen before. You all have been gifts from God to us!
Many of you are kindly asking if I am recovered, and I am truthfully not sure there will ever be a firm YES tag on this one. At least here on planet earth. How sweet the day will be where we get our glorified bodies in heaven. I am realizing there is and can be joy in the “no’s” and “maybe’s” that come behind prayer as well as the encouraging and happily received yes’s. Kind nurses, sweet times with my husband and parents, cuddling with my little people, and giggling with friends. Sunday I woke up in another puddle of spinal fluid. My husband let me cry for a few minutes and helped get ready for my mom , as she came to take me to the ER to get admitted. Thursday, June 5, I had my fourth brain surgery. 3.5 hours to be exact. They installed a non-programmable shunt to properly drain the excess cerebral spinal fluid (leak) in my brain. Now, I have two glorious leaky spickets. Yes, STILL externally LEAKING!!! Can you believe it? Me either. I will have to attach the CT scan that shows the build up of this nonsense. One hole is drilled near my ear, where they cut a small horseshoe flap and shaved 1/3 of my hair off. Yep. 1/3. The big decision of the week is: do I just shave it all off? Or try to go Rihanna mahhhn, with half of my hair purposefully shaved? Perhaps with some pink sprinkles or something? The truth is if I try anything hip, the probability I will come out looking all Britney complete with smeared mascara and a baseball bat, is, well, overwhelming. (bunny trail.) back to the other holes: there is one in the back of my head/ neck, and lastly, one under my sternum. Apparently the fluid is supposed to drain to stomach cavity via a catheter type thing, they call a VP shunt. I am a self admitted wuss, so I will openly share I have 3 different areas of intense pain. As you might imagine; I am not being particularly cheerful. The Doctors can’t/ won’t send me home until they verify the holes/ leak has ceased and they can see the problem fixed on the ct. scan. Considering how much fluid I have lost, it is hard to see this resolve any time soon. Today the Dr. Ordered a CT Scan that showed the fluid was exactly the same so they over drained-this time on purpose-to get a better idea if the shunt is in fact working. The truth is, regardless of circumstance, we are called to be joyful and content despite the outcome. I am clearly riding this storm on the wings of my King. I could be coming home at the earliest Monday. If the shunt doesn’t work, we are talking a total redo. Please pray with Chad and I that this would not be the case. That through this recovery, I would not get meningitis and my body will heal as it should. That God would restore and use me for His good purpose. Thank you sweet friends! No more self centered updates after this. There are so much more worthy updates and news in what God is doing in other peoples lives we can be focusing on and praying for. Xoxo

Well, remember when I said I wasn’t going to update and be all annoying again?? Yah, well….God has other plans and I once again need to lean on you all, asking for prayer and while I am at it, encourage you all. Remember how we were all praying for no infection? Well before I was discharged yesterday, my Dr. openly admitted he was absolutely shocked I had not gotten an infection, considering how long this problem had been persisting and the many issues and such. I knew this was not luck and shared with him how all of YOU were praying for me and how good God was to hear us.
The truth is, God doesn’t fix all things because we love Him. He doesn’t promise that or owe us anything. When He does specifically answer prayers where the odds are HIGHLY not in your favor, we want to, have to, can’t wait to, stand up and praise His name! That said, thank you merciful Lord! Many, many, many, many thanks to you all for incessantly praying. Praying. And praying. Please make sure to thank God for hearing us and giving us salvation from the infection trial, up to this point. As for the recover-and-go-home-to-heal-for-good-request, we all thought He answered that last night. I was discharged and able to go home and sleep with my husband and babies and spend some sweet time together. Chad awoke me to yet another wet pillow. Apparently there are more Kaiser employees I have yet to meet. 😉 I have spent the better part of the day in the ER with very loving parentals. After a long day of waiting, My surgeon came in with a cape on. Just kidding. He might as well have. He determined the shunt malfunctioned and is not draining as we all had hoped for. I have been readmitted and am scheduled to have surgery tomorrow early afternoon, where they will redo this bad boy. Truthfully, I share this because I need God’s intervention. I am begging on my behalf, our parents and children’s also and earnestly am asking God to use this ALL for His glory. Also there would be no infection, or brain injury. Of course I am begging for mercy, courage, and strength to press on. I am weary. Numb. Hurting. But I also know God does NOT make mistakes. I trust Him. I want you all to trust Him too. Not because He is a divine genie that gives us what we want at all times. Because, that friends, is A LIE. And frankly, I don’t really want to entrust eternity to that kind of God. But because He is so much higher, bigger and powerful than we could ever dare to imagine. Friends, please pray for me, my children, family and team of doctors as tomorrow and this next step of recovery unfolds.
“I lift my eyes up to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from The Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.”
Psalms 121
Much love and endless thanks, Michelle

Thank you praying friends, and friends of friends. Thank you Lord for pulling me through with no infection. I had the surgery yesterday, it went well! They took everything out, and replaced everything, most importantly, gave me a more powerful shunt. The doctors were very happy and the surgery was considered a success. In fact, they washed my hair in the operating room!!!! What wonderfully kind doctors. Or they might of had to, to be able to stand over my rank smelling head in order to effectively operate. Then, this morning happened. I woke up in another puddle, and I am leaking yet AGAIN. Are you kidding me?! My doctor called my other surgeon and he was very disappointed. He had said he had never had a case like this, and looked pretty upset. I proceeded to have a good cry, which I am sure made him super comfortable and told him we would be praying the leak stops. If God says no, we are looking at yet another surgery next week. I am discouraged, sad, and am fighting the fear of the unknown. I am sitting in pain, waiting for deliverance. I am more dependent than ever on our Loving God for my daily bread, courage and mercy. Please pray friends, the leaking would cease. That my body will get with the program. I am tired and weak. The thought of going through this all over again pains my soul. I am ready to see what He will do, how He will carry us all through. Thank you for praying friends.