New Year No Fear

Peace out 2021

I hope you all had a happy Christmas celebrating our Savior!

I have been blog MIA for awhile now. I am sorry for the crickets my faithfuls. Praise the Lord for Facebook. Seeing everyone’s sweet pictures and adventures blesses me! And then disqualifies me from any fun or ambitious mom award. Good thing I am not competitive in this arena. Only all the other ones.

Basically because my brain isn’t as helpful when it comes to writing as of late. I write something and it doesn’t make sense or I forget how to spell easy words like children exercise, etc. Lots of excuses.

This year has been good. And hard. Reflecting on the very many years prior, I may have previously echoed a similar sentiment. Many sweet memories and moments have overshadowed the ridiculously hard and painful we have been fighting through. I truly do not know where we would be without a deep faith and love for my Jesus.

First…I am going to share some happy.

FYI, I have no clue how to format this all organized.

2021 in review.

Now the hard.

My dad spontaneously developed acquired hemophilia with factor 8. Super duper rare. He was bleeding internally and externally to the point he had over 20 transfusions. He also has dementia which is so sad. He has been so sweet. The crazy Italian has been tamed. And after 12 weeks in the hospital  his health is no longer at a critical level. Additionally, Chad and I had the pleasure of spending 5 days clearing out his apartment. Have I ever shared he was an organized hoarder? Legit. FIVE days people.  

December I had my 3 month post-op MRI. Truly was expecting a high 5 and sticker. Unfortunately this piece of work tumor has decided to double down in the growth department. She grew ALL the way back and then some. Think summer bod —-> post Christmas muffin top.

My oncologist put me on a new chemo infusion for a different kind of cancer. This particular one landed me in the hospital with a headache I only wish on child molesters.

Side note: I had the mother-load of hospital suites with an all you can eat situation. Like a cruise ship in bed. Not unlike my other stays, but still, I felt all sorts of special.

There is no specific chemo for my kind of tumor. Because that would be easy! My body is allergic to easy. 100%.

This specific treatment is risky as you cannot bleed or have surgery within a month of beginning or ending this treatment. Well three days after the first infusion, my surgeon called and said I needed to have surgery as soon as possible. That would have been helpful to know going in. But….God’s timing is perfect. God’s timing is perfect. God’s timing is perfect.

Due to the extremely aggressive nature of the tumor, (it is growing at a much accelerated rate), he has given us some news that truly we are all struggling with.  The only option to give me a chance to continue to fight this thing is to remove it completely. Remember how a portion of it is inoperable? Well, there is no other option but to go this route.
To say this a high risk surgery is an understatement-which is why they never could safely resect it.

Friends-we desperately need your prayers. Surgery is 2/1.

Please pray for:

-God to be gloried above all else. His will to be done and that our hearts would align appropriately.

-the surgery to go better than we could ever imagine; for no brain damage, preserved eye sight, no brain bleeds. That He would safely bring me through.

for my surgeon, for wisdom, and a God given ability to remove it!

-for my sweet husband and family. This is not easy on anyone.

-for an uneventful and full recovery.

-the tumor doesn’t progress to a grade 3. 

We most importantly need to praise God for His perfect and kind character. In doing that, I need to share God’s sovereignty and love in this all. Had I had surgery right away, or tried to, I would have had a very sick surgeon who could not operate anyway. He caught the covid. I would not have had the time to mentally prepare. I would not have been able to have my long awaited city of hope appointment that would confirm the course of action my surgeon and oncologist have both recommended.
See? God is already at work. Even though there were some uuuuugly tears happening in this corner, He has calmed my heart in a tender and unbelievable way. Thank you all for letting me lean on you. Looking forward to seeing this bring glory to our living, almighty God.




***if you share on FB, please let people know they might need to physically type the website into their browser. Apparently facebook doesn’t like that I use God’s name more than 3 times.

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