What better to do be doing than be home on my first full night from Villa al Kaiser? Writing. That is right people. Yep. The house is asleep and I am just SO thankful to be home!!! I feel like I need to get this all off my chest as I will probably forget all the details in the next few days. So excited in fact I can’t wait to write to all of you who have been faithfully loving on me and my family and PRAYING for us, showering us with sweet reminders/ scriptures and just your support. How do I ever thank you? Seriously?! When going through something like this, you never know how you feel, or what kinds of wierd things go through your brains and fancy parts. Lonliness is one thing I am so thankful I do not feel. Not one bit. I feel so covered by loved ones, and and by everyone who just took the time to encourage me, so thank you for making this time a blessing for me.
The Surgery itself was a lot more than what we anticipated. It was quite scary coming out and having this be 180 degrees different than the last surgery. Recovery and everything…Yek.
Starting out, we were told the tumor rests on my venus/ sinus cavity (not facial cavity) where all the blood flows into the brain. After asking some questions we realized early Friday morning, there was going to be a remnant left as it is extremely risky to do anything involving the sinus/ venus. Bummer. It was ok though because my Lord was guiding His hands and was/ isn’t going to allow anything to go down without His stamp of approval. So about 3.5-4 hours in to the surgery, I started to bleed, and bleed and bleed. 6 blood transfusions later, YES 6!? They were able to stop the bleeding and get me back to good. Praise God. This was a really scary time for the anesthsiologists because while they were prepared, they weren’t that prepared for 1 if any transfusions. I later found out sweet Barbara, the nurse practioner, was in the room, and praying for me. …Bless this woman, I love her to pieces. She was praying for me at that critical moment, and had a crazy vision of Jesus working through my Doc’s hands. Strangely enough, the ONLY thing I remember from surgery was the Holy Spirit pushing me up stairs. No idea how I knew it was the HS, or what, that is all I remember. So when we shared our stories, we cried like good mama’s and realized how important the power of prayer is, but mainly what an ever present help God is when we are in trouble. We are so quick to dismiss it, do it later, or whenever we have time to lock ourselves in a closet, but we have a Lord who asks us to talk to Him. And my prayer is through this we will all scoot closer to our Savior, desiring that sweet communion. I know this is single handedly the area I have always struggled with, so for me, I am really appreciating His timing in all this, and what all our good God is revealing to me.
Recovery has been really really hard. Not going to lie. I have been super sick on the meds, not breathing right They want your breaths to be 8-10/ min, but were only 2-6-but God has graciously pulled me through each hooplah and I am sitting in my own bed. Miraculous! I am SUPER anemic, due to (where you really paying attention?) So I am weak, nauseous, dizzy, weak, etc. But I am one happy mama. I can walk! I can not do any housework, cleaning, picking up anything, but I think we all know I am not shedding tears over a dirty house. So thankful to have my family, best friends, and little people here in one room.
As for what is next….we wait for the biospies to come back. We were told the last biopsies came back at a grade 1 benign with abnormal markers, if there are abnormalities this time, it would most likely be considered a stage 2, and there would need to be more aggressive resection of the tumor. Gamma knife, radiation, or chemo. We need prayer that they would be benign and have no abnormalities, and that I would be able to heal and be a mommy and wife again and not to be a leach to society!! Also please pray for my husband and he leads us through this recovery. That he would do so on God’s strength and that he would be renewed and refreshed each day. We are a lotta work and the man never complains. For reals. 🙂
Thank you friends for walking with me along this road. xo