Ain't No Supermom

Category: Thankful

  • It happened. I knew the day was coming. My oldest makes random announcements of Christian’s passing to people we meet or know and while it is uncomfortable for them, I breathe a sigh of relief. Because, I know that is a burden relieved off his big mending heart. He doesn’t break down and cry, he doesn’t say it isn’t fair, he just wants people to know he lost his brother, a baby whom he loved. “My baby brother died”, is actually what he says. And today, he announced it to his entire class of 34 kids when he had the floor. God has shown this mama great mercy in giving me boys who show love and compassion but do not express emotion in a way I am not capable of handling.
    In Brayden sharing, his teacher took the opportunity to talk about his loss and a couple other children shared they too have lost a sibling. Older, in birth, in their mommy’s tummy, etc. A sad day for her, I am sure. I praise God for the fact He has allowed B and W to see and feel the value of life and the need for redemption. Christian’s passing has created an organic longing in all our hearts to be reunited with our Savior, whose work on the cross will make all things right. And of course to be reunited with our sweet Christian again. That day shall be a day of rejoicing!

    “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor shall there be crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.“
    Revelation 21:4

  • The Glory Days…

    My kids, (and I),….have been blessed. Especially this last week. Camp compass happened. (VBS). It rocked their world! And mine too if I am being honest. We had entirely too much fun being with friends, friends, friends. Our church did an unbelievable job of pouring truth into these young little souls. At the end, I asked my sweet friend E-why can’t we cut tape and do crafts and be all communal again? She didn’t have a good answer. Here is a recap of this spectacular week. If the week wasn’t good enough, Sat was spent getting to see and talk the night away with our Andersen’s and new baby girl, Emily. She is beautiful. Sunday we will watch our Papa preach from the pulpit at his church! Such an exciting week. So much to praise God for.

                                                     No pain, No gain. It’s that simple.
          How we roll into little league games where we don’t belong fit right in.

    Baby Emily! She is perfect. Told ya.

  • Sweet Mercy

    One month has passed since our baby has left our arms to be in the care of our Father’s. Preparing myself for this day, I thought I would need buckets for the tears, a few ambien if things got real bad. And then today came. No tears. Not one. Our good Lord is ever faithful. Oh, is He faithful. And abundant in the many ways He shows us He loves us. His Word is alive. His people are His arms and feet. We feel His love through you all. The sadness can be paralyzing, but the hope of the other side of the cross is overwhelming. God had the details of this day all worked out before we existed, dare I say that?  I had made up this day  to be intolerable, dramatic, and full of sobbing. Instead I was given unexpected emails, texts, cupcakes, flowers and a very generous gift involving pretty hair by a very sweet friend. These gifts were given in love, not intentionally knowing it was to be a hard day for us which made it all the more special. It showed us God’s handprint in this healing process and His sweet mercy. Thank you to everyone who reached out and loved on us, or just said hello today, you will never know the gravity of that act.  

    Sweet baby, 
    You are one month old in eternity. But who is counting? Me. Your mama. I am counting the days until I get to see your sweet soul again. I miss your sweet smile, how you use to scrunch up after I would unswaddle you. I miss your diapers. They were so tiny. I miss them. I miss you, my love. The time is moving by and it hurts….but it is good, it has to move forward, that is how God has designed us-to live under the constraints of time. I will forever seek out babies/toddlers/ children that are around your age to see what you would be doing, what you might look like. I will never fail to think of you or who you might of been. I think it is the mama in me. I miss you terribly, and while I wish you were here, I am content you are secure with our Savior. Thinking of you every day.
                                                                                               Love Always, 
                                                                                                   Mama

  • next chapter

    Just a warning, this is a boring post. If you are here for drama, feel free to wander away. I had my 3 doctor appts this last week. And the week before. My Barbara says everything is too soon to tell what the damage is, and she took more stitches out, also the nuerologist says my brain is molasses. I didn’t really need to pay the co-pay to hear this. I KNOW. All meds are the same, he didn’t change anything, for which I am thankful. He was very kind and said if I don’t have a seizure in the next 22 days, (Imightbecountingtheminutes), I can drive! Weeeee! The concern is numb feet. So I will have to figure something out in learning how to put pressure on the pedal, or something like that. The truth is my right foot was numb after the 1st surgery, and I was ok to drive. It’s not like running. Watch out people. 17 months of no driving, and I am ready to giddy-up with my mommy wagon.
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  • Rocket Randomness

    This week is VBS for our church. My sweet faithful friend has offered to wrangle up my people, all with her brood and cart them all to church. {without me} True love right there. This last year she has taught me so much about friendship and sisterhood, and being real and I love her. Smooches M. I have been blessed with the best of the best in the friendship department, and ya know what? I am grateful. As a lonely 7th and 8th grader who had no friends and bad hair, I still remember the painful void and insecurity middle school brought with all it’s big girl problems and did I mention? no friends. Today I stand a whole lot older, {with bad hair}, but my heart is full, and I see had God not given me the stark contrast I would not see the blessing of friendship He has graciously poured out. You people who love us, encourage us and care for us…you have given us such an incredible gift. Thank you for your friendship and care. It will be a great day when I am able to reciprocate and do the same for you. (more…)