Ain't No Supermom

Category: Thankful

  • A Christian James Story

    Our baby boy is home!!! I feel like we stole him or won the lottery or something. Like somehow it all isn’t quite real yet. Probably because people keep doing ridiculously generous things for us. Somebody pinch me. No, don’t. This is treasured experience, and we want to pour out the gratitude and praise.

    Christian James, this is your story.
    October 3, 2012 your big brother whispered there was a baby in my tummy non chalantly as he was coloring a picture. Exsqueeze me? Impossible. (where does this come from??  This was never a family discussion.)
    October 6, 2012, 3 days after a regularly scheduled appearance failed to show, I decided maybe I should find out if this was in fact true. Big brother was right, miracles do happen. He knew right away you were a boy. Like right away. He was adamant. And so you are.
    You kept me sick for the first couple months, but nothing unbearable. Knowing God had given us you out weighed the scary moments. At your 20 week check up they discovered you had SUA single umbilical artery. Makes for smaller babies. God had all the details worked out . You are healthy as far as we know, so that is a miracle in itself.
    Fast forward:
    Doctors decided to induce mama at 34 weeks and change. LONGEST. LABOR. EVER. I impatiently patiently waited for you while my cervix was lazy at a 4. In the 27th hour, she finally got with the program.  I thought with you being so early it a) would not hurt b) you would come flying out. This was not true. It hurt so bad and you were a tight fit buddy.
    You were born 5/14/13 @ 3:13 am 5lbs 14 oz 18″ long.
    The Nicu team took you right away and kept you for 5 days with some of the nicest nurses ever. Seriously patient.
    As for you-you are perfect. You have daddy’s toes. You have your own look. I won’t promise to keep comparing you, but you definitely are the most handsome baby. You are the most loved and touched baby. EVER. You have 3 siblings who love you and wait in line to hold you. Sorry nicu nurses. I do make everyone wash hands 47 times a day.
    You smile a lot and have your mamas baby blues. You tire out easily, so breastfeeding is not quite your thing yet. That is ok, I promise to be patient. 4th time around and they aren’t as excited and I am sure the milk comes out like a firehose. Your cries are like a puppy, so sweet and peaceful. You are just this precious end to a really painful year. God has just poured His grace over our little family time and time again. And then again! We are so undeserving, yet deeply thankful. I don’t know much, but I do know this; God wanted you here. That was very clear. He even threw in obstacles to show amidst trials, poor odds, a beat mama, He is charge, and was going to protect you. And He did. He taught mama to “lean not on her OWN understanding, that HE would make my paths straight.” (for the hundreth time) We named you what we did because our hope for you is that you will personify God’s love and you will become a follower of Christ yourself at a very young age. We hope you will know and serve our Savior better than us, sooner than us. You already own our hearts sweet boy. We love you more than you will ever understand, and I am just so overjoyed to be your mom.

  • Thankful.

    You know that moment where you stop and realize everything you have ever desired has been graciously given to you? Oprah, (you may have heard of her?), calls this an “a-ha” moment. {insert eyeroll} Had to use her example because I know we have all heard her say it whether or not you voluntarily watched her show.
    Anyway, I had that yesterday. This year especially, I can’t stop thinking about how good our Father is, all.the.time. It’s not that I have never thought about the many ways we are blessed. Or that I have never experienced true contentment, because fortunately in this blip of life, I am thankful to be content. It is more like, WOW. Everything I have ever needed or hoped for has actually been given to me, and then some. And in writing this, I know, just like that, it can all  be taken away. All but my salvation. We are promised trials, sadness, and the reality of a fallen world. Life will hurt, people will fail us, it is a matter of time. I also know that no matter what the future holds, He has answered many prayers, given me the desires of my heart, and nothing will change His countless acts of grace to me. So I will praise my good and merciful God who has reminded me to set my eyes on Him, and that in His perfect, kind nature; He is the giver of everything good.

    “I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father, I lay my life down for the sheep.”
                                                                                     -John 10:14-15

  • Grandpa’s Bday

    Grandpa’s Bday

    My sweet Papa turned 89 this year-what a sweet celebration we were able to have together as a family…so much fun. I savor the cherished times together. 89 years in this world, wow. A lifetime with so many things to be thankful for. A walk here I hope I can emulate in some way. So blessed to call him MINE. 

    Pops was mildy disappointed we didn’t shove all 89 candles on the pie. 

    t.r.o.u.b.l.e.

     My Uncle D-who claimed naming rights on Chuggas. 
     My SWEET nephew Jakester! LOVE him. Model baby. So stinkin’ cute!

     Oh, snap. No she did-ent!
     Halle’s cute new swimsuit! This girl thing is getting fun.

     Precioso! (she is mid poop.)
  • Rob Biagi Concert

    Rob Biagi Concert

    Sunday, my dear friend decided to throw the party of the year for her friends KIDS, (and parents). How awesome is she and her hubs? Love you Emily and Aaron! It was a dream come true for the invitees-for reals. Rob Biagi was the guest of honor and if you don’t know him-you should. HE IS AWESOME! His music is Christ centered, clean, and I like it. Which means a boatload b/c I am the pickiest music person ever. I wish I would have taken picks of all the decor and details she totally did all crazy. Every kid got SO much fun stuff. Again-I wish I would have taken pics. Here are some she took, and some big Stink took. 
    Sweet pic of Emily, not so much of me. Way to squint michelle.
     My Weeman and Big Stink. Love.
     Halle giving a shout out. 
     One of the few all inclusive family pics. Par for the course. Halle’s eating Chad’s pits, B snagged a 3rd lollipop, and Weston is pouting. At least you can’t see my shorts that won’t button. 
     All the kiddos-SUCH A FUN DAY. What you don’t know-Weston was petting Lorenzo, the kid trying to escape. (Weeman is left frame). It was embarrassing cute.

    The end.                            
  • 6 months

    6 months

    Sweet Christian, 
    Tomorrow, it has been 6 months. The time is crawling by, and I miss you terribly. These last few weeks have been sad for me. We set up the Christmas tree and I lost it. My heart screams “you should be HERE! Ripping the ornaments off the tree, tearing open wrapped presents, making this Christmas the merriest…” My mind knows God knows better. Your brothers ask about you and continue to talk about you. In fact, they say they are thankful for you. And they want to get you a Christmas gift. Halle is obsessed with babies, specifically little ones that are sleeping. Sometimes I wonder if she is looking for you. I want to tell her you are no longer a baby. At least not ours. But still, I think about what you might look like, what you would be doing.  You would most likely be crawling, making funny faces and loving your new found food. What you are enjoying right now is far better than jarred carrots, and a life here.  
    Mine and your daddy’s prayer, before you were born, was that your life would make an impact for God’s kingdom. We assumed you were this miracle baby that we would have a lifetime to watch grow up and hopefully make a difference on this side of life. We never thought for one minute it would actually be your death, that would take hold of the microphone so to speak.  You have not been taken from us in vain. You see Friday, God gave me an abundance of love and strength to do what I never thought was humanly possible. Share my testimony of Salvation, life after loss, and what and where our true hope is, with other mommy’s in a big group. By His grace, I was able to stand up and share how good our Abba is. Amidst all the trials, pain…it was losing you that is the most devestating. God has been faithful to show us some good that has come from you crossing the threshold into eternity, before us.  
    My love, you have forever changed my life. For the better. Through grieving the loss your life, and seeing the fruit that is coming from you going to be with God, your daddy and I have an unspeakable peace. It is not the peace that comes before entering a trial. It is the kind where we are continually riding the waves of grief, but we are in a boat now, protected from the despair and fear grief brings. The waters are no longer murky and deep, we can see a little further down and forward. We can taste the calm. These past few days I have taken mental inventory of the countless good God has graciously given us. We are so thankful for so many reasons, but today sweet child, I am thankful for the way God has eternally blessed me by your life and homecoming. I miss you always, and love you more than will ever know.
    Mama