Category: Brain

And yet still; His love for me is Holy.
The last month the freak headaches have returned along with other wierd symptoms I won’t bore you with. An MRI was ordered and thankfully they found immediately that our unwelcome little friend has grown. Thank you Lord that you are driving this boat, and you know where we are headed. If I have learned anything, it is that I am nothing. And at the same time, reminded by scripture/ and our Pastor, how incredible it is that God would give us His special attention. We are so undeserving, unworthy, especially thinking of the many ways I fail on a daily basis to show my Savior how much I love him, and yet, His love for me is Holy. It is perfect, and being reminded of  the depth of His love is what I needed to get through this next surgery. Today I met with the surgeon, and after reviewing the MRI, he says July 27th is the date. So, if you know me and love me/ my husband/ my little people, please pray for us?
-God to be glorified in this transaction.
-We need prayer for the surgeon: His hands to be guided with God’s wisdom, to know how far to go without inflicting damage.
-prayer for our marriage, that we would stand unified looking to God for our strength. Cause’ we ain’t gettin’ it from our vitamix.
-our babes. pray they will adjust well, and we will figure out enough activities for them to do in the middle of summer to keep em busy.
-Prayer for preparations to make a smooth transition from hospital to home to recovered.
-smooth and speedy recovery.

I am going to be real and say I am totally not looking forward to going through another surgery, however, remembering all the ways God led my family and I through each trial, and each victory made it a blessing. So, in a complicated way, I am looking forward to seeing how God will use this for His good purpose. We are all His anyway, right? Right. 🙂

Doc cleared me to sleep normal and lift Halle. Thank you praying friends! The fluid is still there, so Doc says walk 60 minutes a day, and we can give up on the sleeping like a lunatic, and not lifting my baby since that did no good. We will revisit the fluid issue in a few weeks.

So many of you all have been so kind and thoughtful to ask about the recovery, pray and petition on our behalf and show our family love like we have never seen before. You all have been gifts from God to us!
Many of you are kindly asking if I am recovered, and I am truthfully not sure there will ever be a firm YES tag on this one. At least here on planet earth. How sweet the day will be where we get our glorified bodies in heaven. I am realizing there is and can be joy in the “no’s” and “maybe’s” that come behind prayer as well as the encouraging and happily received yes’s. Kind nurses, sweet times with my husband and parents, cuddling with my little people, and giggling with friends. Sunday I woke up in another puddle of spinal fluid. My husband let me cry for a few minutes and helped get ready for my mom , as she came to take me to the ER to get admitted. Thursday, June 5, I had my fourth brain surgery. 3.5 hours to be exact. They installed a non-programmable shunt to properly drain the excess cerebral spinal fluid (leak) in my brain. Now, I have two glorious leaky spickets. Yes, STILL externally LEAKING!!! Can you believe it? Me either. I will have to attach the CT scan that shows the build up of this nonsense. One hole is drilled near my ear, where they cut a small horseshoe flap and shaved 1/3 of my hair off. Yep. 1/3. The big decision of the week is: do I just shave it all off? Or try to go Rihanna mahhhn, with half of my hair purposefully shaved? Perhaps with some pink sprinkles or something? The truth is if I try anything hip, the probability I will come out looking all Britney complete with smeared mascara and a baseball bat, is, well, overwhelming. (bunny trail.) back to the other holes: there is one in the back of my head/ neck, and lastly, one under my sternum. Apparently the fluid is supposed to drain to stomach cavity via a catheter type thing, they call a VP shunt. I am a self admitted wuss, so I will openly share I have 3 different areas of intense pain. As you might imagine; I am not being particularly cheerful. The Doctors can’t/ won’t send me home until they verify the holes/ leak has ceased and they can see the problem fixed on the ct. scan. Considering how much fluid I have lost, it is hard to see this resolve any time soon. Today the Dr. Ordered a CT Scan that showed the fluid was exactly the same so they over drained-this time on purpose-to get a better idea if the shunt is in fact working. The truth is, regardless of circumstance, we are called to be joyful and content despite the outcome. I am clearly riding this storm on the wings of my King. I could be coming home at the earliest Monday. If the shunt doesn’t work, we are talking a total redo. Please pray with Chad and I that this would not be the case. That through this recovery, I would not get meningitis and my body will heal as it should. That God would restore and use me for His good purpose. Thank you sweet friends! No more self centered updates after this. There are so much more worthy updates and news in what God is doing in other peoples lives we can be focusing on and praying for. Xoxo

“For this light momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.”
2 Cor. 4:17
What a promise and truth we can cling to in these moments of chaos and fear of what is to come. If you have repented of your sins and placed your trust in the sovereign God of the universe, an eternity of all things made right, (because of the blood shed by Jesus on the cross, and His resurrection 3 days later), is what we have to look forward to. Because I am God’s child, I rest in this truth and have been gifted the peace that surpasses all understanding. I am reminded our life is a vapor in comparison to a forever with God. Am I human and shed tears of disappointment? Yes, I have. And then I pray and lay my heart, worries and disappointment at His feet. God graciously gives me exactly what I need to press on with peace and joy. I see past the setbacks and pain, and firmly fix my eyes on an eternity with the Almighty God who is by definition; love, mercy and grace. He is so much more than these character traits, but in this moment, I praise Him because He IS these things, and this part of His nature has given me His supernatural strength to continue on, unafraid. Only by His strength am I full of hope, and hold fast to my Savior.
They restapled my head yesterday and immediately the wound opened and began leaking again. In fact my hair is all wet, and it has continued, so you know what this means, right? 1) God faithfully answered the prayer of wisdom in what to do or how to move forward QUICKLY. 2) I am having the shunt surgery. Hopefully later this week. Please pray it would be soon as I can’t go home until after the surgery/ recovery. No time/ date given. 3) I am smelling more and more like road kill. Back to the second point, they keep me aboard the Kaiser cruise ship. Please be praying for a successful surgery with no complications coupled with a setback free recovery. Pray my doctors, nurses and others around me would see Christ in me and God’s handprint in all this. I am humbled God has chosen our sacrificial, loving family and wonderful church family, Compass Bible Church, to walk through this drawn out, fruitful trial that has given many so much hope. Watching God at work in our life as well in the life of others has been one of the largest blessings to Chad and I. What a gift. Thank you praying friends. We love each and every one of you more than you will ever know. Xo