If you ask my kids about their life, they will tell you they have the best life ever. I am so thankful they see the love God has lavished upon them despite the trials. Maybe infact, it is because of the trials, they are so fiercely loved and cared for by many people. I have one child who always asks for more ice cream, one more tv show, 10 more minutes, one more fish, etc, another child who wistfully gazes up and thanks you unprompted, and one that does not yet speak english. But they all recognize they are special, very loved, and God’s good hand is upon them. That blesses me. Which made today a much easier transition. We were graciously given some gift card money for Build-a-bear. With this newfound wealth, we decided we would go build bears in honor of Christian. But they would actually comfort us. Selfish much? I prepped for the day by rereading all the cards and the guestbook for the memorial. People’s words were so encouraging, loving and raw. Looking back through everything allowed me to swim through the grief again, and feel covered in God’s goodness all while missing my love. We were ready to enjoy the generous gift and be blessed. I have never in my life taken the kids into a toy shop with reckless abandon, and wow-it was so much fun! Such a great experience. For me too. You pick the bear, stuff the bear, do you want your bear to have a heart beat? Who says no to that. REALLY. Do you want it to smell like a cupcake? YES! Outfits? 2 hours, 3 very happy children, and 3 broken hangers later…
Category: Blog
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Spoiled.
Stinks’ Bear, NateChuggas Bear, CallieWeeman’s Bear, AngelMy Bear, Christian. Complete with a mended heart, and a beating heart on the inside.My heart is full.Baby Boy,Today you would be 3 months old! My heart aches for you. Nightime brings a lot of solitude and time where I get to think just about you. I used to think that was when it was the toughest, but now I am thinking I need that time to just think about you and be sad and miss you. Replay what I need to replay, so I don’t get resentful when I can’t do that during the day. Not a day or stretch of time goes by where I do not think of you. We talk about you every day. If it is not you when you were here, it is praying for God to give you a hug or comfort you, (hopefully He is doing this), we talk about what you might be doing in heaven, what it will be like when we see you, if you are waiting for us, we talk about how little you were, how delicious you smelled. How precious you are. This life is so much harder without you sweet baby. The first couple months were nearly impossible for me to see or smell a baby. Then as friends brought their babies close, God brought healing. It is now not so hard. I still look for the 3 month olds. I spy them out like a weirdo and see what they are doing. Would you be holding your head up so strong? Would you be plump and girthy? Today I plan to celebrate you. I don’t know what day or month to recognize so I will do so as the Lord puts it on my heart to share. I did realize this:The 14th is also a day of celebration, Weeman was born on April 14. Your homecoming to be with Jesus was June 9. Halle’s birthday is January 9. I know God’ s hand was even in the days appointed to your births and homecoming. I cannot mourn too hard on the days of these months as in them God has given me so many wonderful blessings. They are days where I must thank God for life He has also breathed into your brother and sister. I love you sweet child. We are 3 months closer. xoxoxo -

Bedtime Lullabye
I have an obscure relationship with Halle’s bedtime. I love those precious cherished moments, and yet, it’s painful. It begins with entering a room with 2 cribs. One I know will be filled that evening, by God’s grace. The other, will remain empty, which always stops me in the doorway. Don’t judge, we will take it down one day. Halle and I cuddle in her rocker. We sing songs about our Jesus. (In horrendous pitches might I add) Surprisingly, she always wants to hear more. We pray. I pour my heart out for her. We say “amen”. And then, she starts in, “Heeee baybee. Heeee baybee.” Over and over again. He never slept in the crib. She knows the words where and hi. She is saying HE. She wants the story of Christian before bed. The 18 month old wants her lullabye. And so I give it to her. We tell his story. Sometimes twice. After she hears He is with Jesus, she finally stops asking–and maybe there is something to walk away with there. Maybe that is the infantile/ childlike faith scripture talks of. The peace that comes when trusting God enough to let His will and what He chooses for our life be…enough.
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Robo Rhonda
O Lord, you are my God;
I will exalt you; I will praise your name,
for you have done wonderful things,
plans formed of old, faithful and sure.Isaiah 25:1
He did it!!!! Every. Single. Prayer. ANSWERED!!!!! This is a miracle for the 100 different events and details that had to happen to keep her alive and have a ridiculously perfect surgery and prognosis.
The doctors are immeasurably gifted, humble hero’s. God was working through Dr. Fischbein and Dr. Lee to accomplish this amazing feat. 10 hours later, she is on the way to being Nanni again by way of replacing her aorta with a synthetic polyester like material. She now has cage like stents in her corroded artery and intestines guaranteeing healthy blood flow. Wanna know the wax that seals this perfectly packaged success? The heart valve they used to replace her damaged valve is called Inspiris. Guess who makes that valve? Edwards Life Sciences. Guess who works there? Starts with “R” ends with an “ob”. Jaw::floor. This magnificent life saving medical device was born in Robs incredible company. Boom.
I want you all to know you are the real heros as you faithfully trusted our GOOD God and continued to lift her/ us all up and pray. And pray. And pray again.
“When two or more are gathered in my name, there I am among them”
Matthew 18:20
This verse speaks of two or more, and sounds so small. How much more powerful are thousands?
You warriors will forever be remembered and embraced with our deepest gratitude as we all look upon her beautiful face each and every time. Where would we be without you all, your begging and pleading and continual petitioning? Not here. Thank you thank you thank you! Forever and always.
It is my strongest conviction this occurred to glorify and magnify our mighty and loving God in the most dream like way. His faithfulness endures and you all, praying friends or not, have a front row seat to what a true miracle looks like. This is not luck, the universe showing favor, this is the work of the Almighty. This is faith.
What happened over the last 36 hours completely rocked our world and deepened our faith 100 fold in the one and only God of perfection!
Here is why we are silently, (we are in a hospital after all), screaming with joy, in complete awe.
Upon arriving to the hospital, Chad and I were apart of the conversation being had by the Doctor and Rob, my mom and dad. Basically giving us little to no hope. Hospitals were not accepting her or had no beds, not enough surgeons. Delivering the message of the reality of a massive stroke and near fatal tear of the aorta- heart to hip, get ready to say goodbye. Their pity face made me sad for them, and led us to launch into prayer mode.
The doctors assumption she was not going to pass the neurological test to even make step 2 a possibility led them to hault any movement toward surgery. So we waited. They did not know our God. So she passed. Only then, they were forced to move forward. The surgeon humbly shared he was not the right surgeon for this kind of surgery. He wanted her at Stanford, the most qualified hospital with the most qualified surgeon. After much petitioning, At he end of the night, Stanford finally accepted her. For an unknown reason, or because God knew we needed this to further exercise our faith, they could not reach the surgeon that night. To deny that our happy hopes were deflated would be a lie. We were frustrated. We all knew and encouraged one another that He would not bring her this far for it to end there. We went to bed at peace, and awoke having been given 6 hours of sleep. We then arrived at the hospital to find out they were trying to figure out the air transportation and get a hold of the doctor. Hours later the doctor’s assistant informed us the Stanford medical helicopter could not fly due to fog. Keep in mind every second is critical. It takes one deep breath, cough, sneeze to fully rupture the artery, and Rhonda would be in the presence of our Savior. We then found out there was a Santa Barbara helicopter that was willing to fly her as far as they could go before hitting the fog they planned on an ambulance meeting the helicopter if it couldn’t continue. Keep in mind this was a 2 hour flight or 4.5 hour drive.
Guess what cleared? Yep. They were off and she arrived at Stanford 2 hours later to be rushed into the operating room. A 10 hour, yes 10 hour surgery ensued without one word. Zero communication and we all pow wowed it up eating weird food, yapping and laughing our way through the hours clothed in peace and joy.
That moment, God’s full glory in this transaction was realized as these tools of our Almighty came through the doors in the most amazing way…
Big smiles. Surgery was a success. Her kidney failure is regressing, she is urinating. They repaired the broken, reinforced the weak. Redeemed the loss. How illustrious of our salvation. We are broken. We are weak. Because of Jesus’s work on the cross, sacrifice, WE ARE REDEEMED. Not just restoration, “fixing”, but making all things new and more brilliant than before! Those prayers? That God would be glorified-open the heavens! Glorified indeed!
So…what happened?
Rhonda had a minor stroke, (you would never know it), in 2008 and has battled high blood pressure and a partially blocked corroded artery ever since.
During breakfast Friday, her blood pressure randomly spiked, causing the pressure that led to the dissection, which then in turn caused the stroke.
You guys. God delivered Rhonda-moreso us all. He is so BIG. We woke up from the nightmare. Good morning sweet friends!
THANK YOU for your endless prayers.
Big hugs and much love,
Michelle and Family
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Good grief
Christian would have been 2 years old on Thursday, 5/14. These last few weeks have been incredibly hard. Harder than last year. A year ago, my mind was altered, I had the chance to sleep all day. You know, do the things people long to do in times of depression and suffering. This time, I don’t have the bed sentence and IV narcotics to help me crawl through this season.
Grief is a different shade of black for everyone. Maybe you are a muted ashy black and you are grappling with the truth of loss, but you aren’t face down. Maybe you are a deep unmistakable black and are wishing life away.
I am in a charcoal black space right now. On good days, I can be light and fun. The dark moments, hours, and days are black. And I get angry. {if I am being honest}. Angry not at the why-because my head gets it. I can absorb the concept of God’s sovereignty…but why doesn’t my head and heart knowledge connect? Why aren’t God’s countless acts of mercy drowning out the sadness?
In the words of everyone who has lost someone meaningful in their life, death sucks. When I hear the term, ‘pass away’, I cringe. Such a peaceful way to help us quiet the reality of mortality. The loss of a loved one is emotional torture. My personal experience has been that God seems to sit quite a bit higher on His throne…His Word is much louder, my quiet times are much richer. While I continue to brace myself from the pain, I can always look forward to His goodness. His sweet mercy, which is more precious than anything this world can offer.
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Pray pray pray
Things have changed a bit. Knowing her body does not tolerate iodine well AT ALL, these numerous CT’s are no doubt an added tax on her frail body. She has not woken yet. Her eyes are open, however there is no focus taking place. Her hands will not squeeze. She is trying to move around, however she is not coming to as we and the doctors had hoped. The latest CT has shown what is called a converted stroke. The stroke has progressed, and there is a more visual brain bleed. This is something the Nuero person was hopeful about in the small size of it, however, it needs to be contained. This may have happened when they thinned the blood in surgery, as it was necessary. Please allow us to lean on you all again. This has been a rollercoaster to say the least. I am not putting God in a box, so we will continue to beg for another, dare I say, miracle.
Please pray specifically for:
-reversal, immediate stopping of the bleed
-That there would be no permanent damage
-that whatever comes of the CT, she would be healed.
-that she would come out of Anesthesia soon being alert, responsive and her hands would be able to move.
PRAISE for the amazing doctors, kind nurses and countless mercies God has graciously given us. Praise she is responding to a nurse yelling in her face. We love you and covet your prayers.
They will be repeating this scan in 6 hours. Approximately 8pm. I could not wish you all could be here so I could hug you and thank you any more than I do right now. I know she will be so excited to see these well wishes and meet and love on you as well.







