Author: Michelle White

This post was in my heart for a couple weeks now. I write this not to rile anyone up, but rather help you people simmer down. Maybe you are over it. Or you think it’s all been said. A young new bride with a life of unfulfilled dreams has slipped away. On her terms. Her husband and mother will experience the wake of grief we all innately fear. The ending of her life saddens me. The brevity of her life makes my face flush. The campaign she chose when given this incredible platform is discouraging to any God fearing Christian. I saw in her not choosing an allegiance to God, her faith laid elsewhere, and my heart truly broke for her. Breaks for her loved ones. Her desire to choose is not really what this is about…is it? Unless you have experienced the all consuming pain associated with a large tumor and swelling brain, or have been in that dark corner of hell on earth, I don’t really know that you can predict what you would do. Let alone judge another for what they decide. This is no ordinary taking back of their own life, (if there could ever be an “ordinary” in that realm)…it is a desperate moment of physical anguish. I will tell you when I had asceptic meningitis, the jacked lumbar drain and brain tumor at it’s largest, had I known there was no hope of physical redemption, I too would have begged God for mercy and asked for anything to make it stop. I can guarantee anyone witnessing the agony would have happily obliged. Suffering is real and deeply pains all who witness. 
As someone who has surrendered their life to God, I see His desire for us to grow in His likeness, through many avenues, but especially through pain and suffering. Not that we all have to suffer physically for months and years on end, but it’s that when we suffer and writhe in pain, we fix our eyes on Him. We as humans have a natural propensity to control, and salvage what we think we have. Especially in times where we are stripped of everything. While it is nice to be shown mercy in these moments, I do believe God has His hand in and owns our suffering. This post is not a slam to Brittany, her family. I do not know where they stand before God. I am not ambivalent to choosing to plan to die. My plan lies in God’s plan. On His terms. 
I pray the reality of your mortality, (which is truly why these tragedies so deeply affect us), drives you to entrust your soul and everything in you to desire and rely upon your Creator. He is by definiton, Power. Mercy. Love. What a sweet peace; to have faith that in those deeply painful moments of life and death, He is waiting to show you His power. His mercy. His love.