Do I celebrate? Or tuck myself in bed and call it a day? Content with chips and sparkling water…Crazy headaches, nausea, exhaustion, and generally not feeling too hot has taken up residency. I am on steroids now, and they have helped the headaches in a big way. Now I will inherit fat face, which comes free gift with steroids. What a deal;) Along with, well…
Blog
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over!
My Linda and I were talking about if I were to ever write a book, the title would be:
….and then…My life is drama. It is one thing after another, then another, oh wait….and then another. ER visits, health scares, behavior issues, Dr. appt’s, brokeness, it keeps coming. Is this the average life? Really? Because I am pretty sure if you are a new friend, and either found this blog or heard about all this, you would slowly back away. Possibly with a fire extinguisher in hand. I don’t blame you! Just know with all the scary stuff are unmatched blessings that make us smile, remind us we are loved and protected, and keep us not scared. Moving on. Actually, lets pause here, I am giving you fair warning, this post is erratic and as good as it’s going to get. Sadly it’s taken 2 weeks to publish this draft.
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Doctors say…
1) No change from my last MRI. (expected)
The most recent MRI from last week showed the tumor was exactly the same as the last MRI 2 months ago. I have a “slow growing” tumor so this was what they expect to see. They won’t really know if the radiation worked for another year or so. No growth is good growth.
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Wendy, Revelation, Gifts and Pics
She was shiny, and totally itchy. She fit the bill in desperate times when I had to dress up pretty. In the right light, she might have not been so noticeable. Unfortunately our relationship never graduated to ‘friend’…she lingered in the almost-friend stage. She hadn’t gotten with the program and weird hairs began going all different directions. It got awkward. Ultimately, the discomfort truthfully rested more in the fact it wasn’t me, or my hair. I kept reminding myself, even when I had locks, they were significantly altered by a little miracle liquid we will call—> bleach. If I know you, we both know she wasn’t mine. And truthfully, I was exponentially more comfortable wearing the head wrap/ tuban/ scarf. (and I do). Many were kind enough to have smiled and said, “IT looks great!” If I didn’t know you, it was easier to wear the wig and hide the situation under the elastic. Either way, if I think too long on it, I remember to be thankful I have had this struggle with vanity in the first place.
Our Pastor referenced a verse in Revelation a couple months ago. We were reminded:
“Worthy are you, our Lord, our God to receive all glory, honor, and power, for you created all things and by your will they have existed and were created.” Rev. 4:11
Everything He has created and sustained are His to give….and take away. In this life, we have been given FAR more than we deserve. There have been a few things He has taken away, (as they are HIS), and in the taking away, we have been shown that they are still gifts. I don’t want to make it seem like I am holding onto things so loosely I don’t care if they are taken back…I am appreciating what I have been given understanding who holds the rightful ownership. (more…)
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traditions
Now that the celebration of our Savior’s birth has passed, along with buying and wrapping of too many gifts to count, we are actually enjoying each other. I wish I could wear the “success” hat and say we have mastered perfectly savoring and appreciating Christmas time, but I will keep it real. I failed. I yelled and wrestled with my kids each night to sit still while I read the Jesse Tree, one of our new Christmas traditions. My dear friend made us ALL the ornaments to match and wrapped them. She is amazing. They learned to sit without squirming by December 23rd.