Ain't No Supermom

Blog

  • 6.

    Little Stink, 

    Happy 6th Birthday love bug.  For some reason your Birthdays are the hard ones. You are the boy who made me a mommy. So naturally, you own a piece of me no other child gets. I love you to heaven and back and am so proud of you I could burst into a thousand pieces. I love your heart above all. All that we have been through in the past couple years, you have proven to be a strong, LOVING, resilient boy who competes like no other. I pray you will always fight the good fight because you love our good God. I pray that is how God will use your competitive spirit. You are determined like I have never seen in any person, well maybe I have seen once or, AHEM, twice, AHEM, {cough; grandparents}, but I am excited to see what God does with you as you get older. You are thoughtful and caring, asking about your brother and what he is doing. You always kiss his grave goodbye unprompted. Which makes me cry, and of course love you all over again. You are the best big brother to Weston and Halle. Playing with them and laughing throughout the day. You keep my eyes dry most days and my heart humble. 
    You are a total sports boy. Anything involving a score, you are all in. Especially baseball and football. You are huge. apparantly feeding you poorly for the 1st year of your life paid off, as you are 56lbs. You are smart. All moms say this, but you really are. You definitely have Daddy’s brain. You make up word games and mix up the letters. It’s crazy. I legitimately can’t even play with you. Today, we celebrated your birthday by going to school, (yay for reality),  being surprised with cupcakes from your favorite Miss Bre, seeing planes for the second time while slurping down an icee and tossing back a large pocporn. You saw and or talked to your grandparents and opened gifts and we ended the night cuddling. Just how we started your life. It was a good day. 
    At this time 6 years ago, I was in the midst of pushing you out….crying and wondering what in the world life was going to be like….I had no clue how wonderful YOU were going to make our lives. You forever made my biggest dream come true: being your mama. 
    I love you always. 

  • New favorite chapter

    I go through periods of time where I read the bible and the words speak to me and I understand the parables, and I eat it up, but there are no crazy revelations. I am not a bible scholar. Don’t get me wrong, I thirst for my bible reading time, and learning and relearning God’s Word, even if I am not a smarty pants.  Lately though, the words have been jumping off the page. {The upside to walking in a valley with our Savior.} Had you asked me Friday, I would have told you my favorite chapter in the Bible is James 1. It always seems to come back to that one. It either encourages, convicts or speaks to my soul at just the right time. Today though, I am officially changing it Psalm 91. I know as I grow and mature through life and my relationship with Christ, it will change from time to time-but this chapter has spoken to my healing soul in 3 ways; I will give you the specific verses….
    vs 4 He will cover you with His pinions, and under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness is a shield and buckler. (does the imagery get any more beautiful? Finding refuge under the glorious wings of the Almighty God of the universe?)
    vs 11-12 For He will command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways. On their hands they will bear you up lest you strike your foot against a stone. (He cares enough about us to concern His angels with yours and my wellbeing. Overwhelming)
    vs 14-16 “Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him, I will protect him, because he knows my name. When he calls to me I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble I will rescue him and honor him. With a long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.”
    Speechless.

  • It happened. I knew the day was coming. My oldest makes random announcements of Christian’s passing to people we meet or know and while it is uncomfortable for them, I breathe a sigh of relief. Because, I know that is a burden relieved off his big mending heart. He doesn’t break down and cry, he doesn’t say it isn’t fair, he just wants people to know he lost his brother, a baby whom he loved. “My baby brother died”, is actually what he says. And today, he announced it to his entire class of 34 kids when he had the floor. God has shown this mama great mercy in giving me boys who show love and compassion but do not express emotion in a way I am not capable of handling.
    In Brayden sharing, his teacher took the opportunity to talk about his loss and a couple other children shared they too have lost a sibling. Older, in birth, in their mommy’s tummy, etc. A sad day for her, I am sure. I praise God for the fact He has allowed B and W to see and feel the value of life and the need for redemption. Christian’s passing has created an organic longing in all our hearts to be reunited with our Savior, whose work on the cross will make all things right. And of course to be reunited with our sweet Christian again. That day shall be a day of rejoicing!

    “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor shall there be crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.“
    Revelation 21:4

  • Why I love my man…

    Why I love my man…

    If you don’t love yours, I implore you to find some reasons to. There is always a great one: God says to. Once you submit to that, it is a funny thing, other reasons seem to start falling into your lap.
    God has been really kind to me in that I have a man whom I deeply love and am in love with. First off, He loves God above all else. He writes notes to the kids in the morning as he leaves for work early. They will say the score of last nights game or to be good boys or just that he loves them. He leads our family in a godly way. He sacrifices in countless ways. He brown bags it every day. STILL. He is funny. Belly laugh style. He sings west side story with his eyes closed because he might cry, he loves the music THAT much. Like I said, he is funny.  He is my rock. He has supported, encouraged, discipled, loved, and taken such excellent care of me and us during these last couple years of “growth”. He is wonderful and he is mine. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my love. I can’t begin to describe my gratitude for all you do and mostly, all that you mean to us. We love you more than you can ever imagine.

  • Ain’t no Super Christian

    This post kind of tells it’s own story. This blog is not a teaching blog, a picture blog, or (obviously) an organized blog. If you have been reading my posts, you should know by now, there are no mission statements, no guidelines. Kind of describes my person actually. I suppose that is why I continue to write. Our Church’s moms group has asked me to share my testimony-And if I am being honest, I already have sweaty palms and I can feel my saliva glands shutting down. I am nervous. Of course I am nervous. I am about to stand up on behalf of the Maker of this world, the Center of my universe, and share what is rightfully His-His work in my life and, my life. The accuser, satan is whispering retired truths in my ear. Failures, my UNqualifications, and encouraging me to cower in fear. And he is right. I fail more times than I am comfortable admitting. But it isn’t that we just fail as Christians, it is what do we do about it??   Are we married to the sins and refuse to let them go? Do we stand uprightly and ask for forgiveness, begging God to change our hearts, and rely on Gods strength? Remembering that our sins are seen as far as the east is from the west?  Or do we just not care-abuse His grace and quench the Spirit. Not wanting to BE a hypocrite, the answer is in the pudding. (there is one right answer) I would hope our pursuit of holiness is worth more than the selfish sins we cling to.
    I am unqualified. I am not medaled with perfect execution of Gods directives for our lives. I have not studied and labored in Bible school to have any authority over what I speak of. All I have is His perfect Word and truth: His work in my life.  I am clearly no super christian. I fumble over words when it matters most, I do not have a set time during the day to read my bible, I do it at all hours or when I get the quiet to think. I sometimes fail to show my husband the respect he deserves. I do not remember to pray for each and every person like I intend to. I am human and have a memory problem, remember? I may or may not have yelled at my kids on the way to church. (multiple times-cringe).
    God’s purpose is not to idolize my inadequacies and fall prey to fear.  He is not expecting me to be the unicorn of the human race. Instead he is asking me to pursue Jesus. Pursue His agenda and ask for strength, mercy and utter and complete dependence on Him. As far as I understand it, His agenda is to glorify HIM. Serve HIM. And I am praying by completely leaving the fear of failing at His feet, He will be glorified. I would be so blessed if you would pray for that too. Specifically from now until the 3rd week in November.
    “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out all fear. For fear has to do with punishment and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.“
    1 John 4:18
    “so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him, bearing fruit in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God.”
    Colossians 1:10

    Sweet Ruby, this post is for you. You asked me when I was going to write a post, and this is what has been weighing on my heart. I love you and thank you for caring.