Why Blog?

There are chapters of life where there are peaks and chapters filled with valleys. And then there lies all that is in between. We all own this reality.

Ecclesiastes chapter 3:1-8 affirms this truth.
1 For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
2 a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
3 a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5 a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7 a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8 a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.

There is a set and calculated time for each part of life. We have experienced some of those peaks to be beautiful plains littered with what seemed like an abundance of wild flowers, where the sky was big and the sun was bright. Some were short and enough to sustain us through the next trip down the mountain. Ok, maybe {honestly} sometimes it felt like more of a free fall. Our God is grand and our faith is strong. More recently, we have endured the dark valleys where the storms rage and we feel broken by death and suffering. The glittering blue sky has turned grey. It is in this time God is so much bigger and more trustworthy than any amount of time we have spent in the serene prairie. We are literally clinging to the tree of life begging for redemption. Knowing very well that His will might be a ‘no’. And you know what? In these seasons, our eyes are fixed on an eternity where all will be perfect. All things will be made new. We open our arms and know we are His. This is not a fantasy made up in my finite hopeful mind. An embellished story from a random author. Oh no. This is a promise from THE Author of life. If you read the Bible, prepare to submit to the pivotal truth in:

2 Timothy 3:16-17.
16 All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, 17 that the man of God[a] may be complete, equipped for every good work.

If you believe this to be true, the implications are heavy…Yet reveal such perfect truth. His word is from Him. The Bible IS NOT a collaboration of personal experiences and mere opinions. Our God is to be feared, trusted and looked to for perfect love and Salvation. I felt compelled to write this as so many of have been so gracious to compliment me/ us for how this trial has been lived out and my transparency. Most times I say thank you, because I appreciate you all aknowledge this is hard. I feel the need to clarify. Friends, I feel so honored to say it is NOT me or my own strength. It is not my husband. It is Christ in us. If I were to do this in my own power I would be sobbing in the corner bathed in fear for what is to come. I would have given up long ago. God has mercifully taken away that all-consuming fear and anxiety and given me peace. Not the kind where I am ambivalent to the outcome, but where I pray, rest on Him and trust the One who made and saved me. I still pray and beg for a break. I am weak and weary. Certainly not particularly thrilled to fight my way up this seemingly unbeatable mountain. And then I remember I can’t. It has to be The Almighty God I have put my faith in. I know He is paving the way and is my ever faithful foothold. What a great God we serve that is so generous to, as Psalm 55:22 says,

“Cast your burden on the Lord,
and he will sustain you;
he will never permit
the righteous to be moved.”

1 Peter 5:7 says, “cast your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you.”

He is GOOD and loves us enough to allow us to rest our fear of the unseen and unknown on Him.

I hope and pray this very public journey we are riding glorifies God. This was my first prayer in the very beginning. I knew from the very first diagnosis, this is His story, His work. And He chose us, entrusted us with THIS. Some prayers He has said NO to. Many, not yet. And more than we deserve, yes. We have most certainly been given an unbelievable set of blessings and trials. Seeing His hand in it all has absolutely changed my life, my heart, and my reverence for the sovereign God of all of His creation, and all that is to come. The reason I have opened up our lives, is certainly NOT to boast, or draw attention. I have shared this very tender part of lives and hearts in hopes you will see how BIG God is. How He hears you. How He never for one second leaves you. I pray this trial you have had and will continue to have front row seats to grows your faith and compels you to seek out a perfectly just and very worthy God.

All this being said, I want to encourage you all. God has given us sweet mercy. I am so thankful for the opportunity to praise Him for all the healing He has given. I am feeling better. Almost enough to shout, I am all better! I am walking. WITHOUT a walker. Which is huge. My legs work! No seizures. There is a possibility of driving in the near future. There is hope…and I taste it.