One month has passed since our baby has left our arms to be in the care of our Father’s. Preparing myself for this day, I thought I would need buckets for the tears, a few ambien if things got real bad. And then today came. No tears. Not one. Our good Lord is ever faithful. Oh, is He faithful. And abundant in the many ways He shows us He loves us. His Word is alive. His people are His arms and feet. We feel His love through you all. The sadness can be paralyzing, but the hope of the other side of the cross is overwhelming. God had the details of this day all worked out before we existed, dare I say that? I had made up this day to be intolerable, dramatic, and full of sobbing. Instead I was given unexpected emails, texts, cupcakes, flowers and a very generous gift involving pretty hair by a very sweet friend. These gifts were given in love, not intentionally knowing it was to be a hard day for us which made it all the more special. It showed us God’s handprint in this healing process and His sweet mercy. Thank you to everyone who reached out and loved on us, or just said hello today, you will never know the gravity of that act.
You are one month old in eternity. But who is counting? Me. Your mama. I am counting the days until I get to see your sweet soul again. I miss your sweet smile, how you use to scrunch up after I would unswaddle you. I miss your diapers. They were so tiny. I miss them. I miss you, my love. The time is moving by and it hurts….but it is good, it has to move forward, that is how God has designed us-to live under the constraints of time. I will forever seek out babies/toddlers/ children that are around your age to see what you would be doing, what you might look like. I will never fail to think of you or who you might of been. I think it is the mama in me. I miss you terribly, and while I wish you were here, I am content you are secure with our Savior. Thinking of you every day.