Brain, Christian

Schizophrenic Update

Our Christian would have been one Wednesday. I awoke with tears flowing. What followed, I could have never dreamed. My husband never let me go-he held my hand, my heart and walked with me through the emotional day. I could not love him any more than I do in this moment. In fact, the love that has come from the loss of Christian’s life is blinding. It is an avalanche of God’s love, perfected in friendships and relationships with people He has given to walk with us. We are thankful for each of you. Many of you showed us love, gifts, and kindness today that will never be forgotten. I actually wrote down every single thing and person God has given us through this journey to ensure I will not soon forget. Providentially, we had to stop by Brayden’s school for something, and we were surprised and shocked to be gifted the most cherished box of handmade cards from each child in my boy’s class, complete with pictures and sentences of encouragement, cards from parents, and a very generous monetary gift. On went the tear faucet. As I read each and every card, I saw the gift of life in each child God created, His loving teacher and the parents. What big hearts! So. much. love.

If that is not encouraging enough, this last week has held many good things I will claim as praises. 
1) my legs are working better! I can hobble around. It’s ugly, but hey! I can figure it out. (Safely with a walker-complete with some smashingly hot tennis balls). I am not bed bound as I had humanly feared, and I attribute this to ALL to your faithful and appreciated prayers. I hope you see the progress as the answered prayers they are and that they would bolster your faith and strengthen your prayer life. God has given us a miracle in mobility. Please continue to pray. I am numb up to my stomach, the sensations are rare and the muscle weakness is pretty bad.  I need to eat my wheaties and actually do the pictograms on the PT chart that have been copied 46 times. There is hope! 🙂 Each day is giving me more and more to be thankful for. 
2) Ready for some gross TMI?? If not, there is a little x in the upper left hand corner. 
Tuesday morning, my staples failed, and brain fluid started flowing out. Like a lot. It was gross and scary. So we saw the surgeon right away and he looked at me, and stapled my head shut again, no anesthesia. True story. It’s ok, out squirted a shower of cervical spinal fluid. He bravely freaked out, and immediately put in 4 sutures in to stop the leaking. NO ANESTHESIA. Are you kidding me? Maybe I do have super powers. I then started crying and they kindly gave me a horse tranquilizer. Many narcotics later, it’s all better. Amen. 

The surgeon  also ordered an MRI to see how much residual tumor is left, so we will know how to move forward. The next appointment is next thursday with my ‘fix the annoying blonde’s  brain’ team. The seizures are still a coming. They are shorter than before the surgery, but still present. So that is something to pray for. Please no more seizures! The hope is they will go away, so I can be an independent mommy.

3) Chad was scheduled to go to work today, and on the way there, they cancelled work due to the fires. While I am sad for San Diego, I am thankful I got my man today! This was a gift as I LOVE my husband, and enjoy every extra minute I get to be with him.  
4) Regardless of the fact we redated our anniversary to July 18,  we did celebrate {eat out} on our anniversary, at a super packed fancy restaurant. I am so glad I made reservations. 

5) I have been getting hours upon hours of this preciousness:

6) we had a peaceful celebration of what would have been Christian’s 1st Birthday at the cemetery. It was a warm breezy early evening, and I couldn’t help but be thankful for the lives God has graciously given us to love, nuture, and raise. 

 7) My big outing this week was getting my nails done with mamabird, and frequenting the ever trashy walmart. I made eye contact with a bald guy in above the knee pink shorts wearing a pair of rolled over uggs. It was beautiful… and of course I couldn’t grab my phone camera quick enough. I nailed the corner of the aisle with the motor cart and scared a small family. Sooooorrry! But not really, because it made me giggle, and well….it feels good to giggle. 

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