My spawn

are the joy of my life. Very rarely do I get embarrassed, especially by my little peeps. EXCEPT today. Today, they wrecked me. I won’t go into the adventures of playing trains and superman while trying to shower and get out of the house, but I will say, it was dramatic. Today’s FAIL was my fault of course-expecting them to function normally at the doctors which is now Kaiser. (which is a joyful experience in itself). So we check in, immediately the boys start playing owl running and hooting all over the lobby while flapping their arms. We caught everyone’s attention, and they weren’t smiling. Not even a pity grin. Then we moved on to melting down over the buttons at the elevators. You would have thought I cut someone’s arm off. Apparantly there are NEVER enough buttons. And no button is as fun as the bright red one that says alarm. After that display, we go to the doctors where they are  threatened to stay in the 3×3 area I have assigned with my imaginary line/ rope. They did pretty well. B tatoo’d his leg with 99 cent store markers, and I am hoping it comes off without me busting out the ajax. All is going ok during the appointment, until the doc has me lose the chonies to do an, {clears throat} invasive ultrasound. 3 minutes in,  B announces as he is dancing holding his wee wee he is going to pee himself. The doc was scared, it was awkward.
The appointment abrubtly ended and I learned a valuable lesson: taser guns are way underrated.
The bright side? I am sure Kaiser is thankful I provided complimentary birth control for everyone who witnessed the glory of what went down today. Even if 80% of the people are 30 years past the option of reproduction.