To read of his arrival, click here
In the early Sunday morning hours Chad and I held our sweet baby, as the nurses disconnected the wires, monitors, machines, and ventilators. We prayed over his precious soul and body; we loved on him, we sang to him, we cried. His heart rate almost immediately fell to 50 bpm, then 40, then 30, then continued to drop. It took about one hour for our good God to take our baby back home where His will would be accomplished. At 2:45 am our Almighty claimed Christian’s life, and we no longer had our baby. His soul was with Jesus. We were surrounded by our cherished church family, family and friends whom we are forever indebted to. 2 waiting rooms full of tears and sorrow for this sweet child of God.
What happened? Truthful answer: we don’t know. We awoke to him unresponsive, cold, with no pulse Friday morning. He was rushed to the ER by the best firefighters who stayed with us well over the expected timeframe along with a very loving Sherriff who was a first responder. The paramedics were able to get a heartbeat after 15 minutes of CPR. Unfortunately, due to the time with no oxygen, by the time he received an EEG, there was very little brain activity. So little in fact, he could not breathe on his own. He was relegated to a ventilator and machines, and a lot of meds. He was trying to gasp for air the first day, and gave up trying to breathe the second. It was horrifying. But, God was working. You see, Friday, when we found him, he was no longer with us. I was on my knees begging God for a miracle. Please Lord, give him a heartbeat, PLEASE…. and He did. In the ambulance, He did. There was a heartbeat. God did not have to do that for us. But in His merciful nature, He did. A real and true miracle. My parents had just landed in Spain, and to have had to go through the loss so suddenly, without my parents would have tortured us all. So they got right back on a plane and rushed home. The Lord knew our hearts and knew what we could not handle. He allowed for us to have those 36 hours so we could understand Christian was going to have to be given back to God with “palms open” as my friend Erica would say. Truly, the hardest moment of our lives. We are blessed to have had that time to grieve and pray with our wonderful family and friends. Those moments are precious to Chad and I and we will never forget them.
While we will always try to find purpose and will always bless our good God, we are human. It hurts so unbelievably deep. Every inch of our being aches for the loss of our baby boy. For what has happened, what will not happen, and what is to come. Your prayers, God’s mercies and our children are literally getting us though each day. The day where we are reunited in heaven cannot come soon enough. Until then we will praise our loving God and thank Him for His many blessings in our lives, more focused on His agenda, not ours. Remembering why we are even here in the first place. Thank you sweet friends and family for loving us and helping us through this devestating time in our lives.
“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
– John 16:33