1) No change from my last MRI. (expected)
The most recent MRI from last week showed the tumor was exactly the same as the last MRI 2 months ago. I have a “slow growing” tumor so this was what they expect to see. They won’t really know if the radiation worked for another year or so. No growth is good growth.
2) I am cognitively impaired and it’s going to be ok.
Oh, good. So it’s totally ok I just called my husband my father in law’s name. And tried to take a bite out of my coffee mug. Phew. I can expect these magical moments for the next couple months or until forever.
3) Some of my meds are going to change
and make me even crazier, if that is even possible. Oh, and I can’t drive again until we can figure out a new drug cocktail which is fiiiiine with me. I didn’t feel all that comfortable driving anyway. You shouldn’t have to keep visually checking to see if your foot is in the right spot…right? Riiiiight. I get the other free gifts with purchase that keep me totally humbled. Dizziness, headaches, feeling like I am on the imaginary boat that won’t stop rocking, you know. Same old.
4) Go live your life.
Oh, thank you! Because I have been holding my breath to hear those words. NOT. They said this with kind intentions, but, the truth is, I have been living and loving the life God has very graciously given me. Maybe not at full capacity but hey-I am not a great rule follower anyway. There is no MRI or blood test that will ever change that.
Approximately 30 minutes after my surgeon said to go live my life, my oncologist told me to rest. I laughed. They must not be friends. No one really talks about what radiation really does to you. How can you ever prepare someone to be physically unable to empty the dishwasher, or return a text. Oh and by the way, you only have enough energy to effectively do about one event a day. By event, I mean the store/ church/ game/ etc. The exhaustion is mental and physical. I will take my doctor up on this one. Aside from this and those super fancy raw, fresh juices that take the better part of my life to regularly ingest…there is not much that makes me feel better, physically. Other than laughing of course. Everyone needs a good belly laugh. Add 10 points for a giggle snort. Loving on my babies does the trick too…
All this being said, I am SO thankful for such kind, WONDERFUL doctors. Truly, they are blessings, and I do not for one minute take that for granted. I have had a beautiful ride with all the health drama, and I am deeply grateful God carried me/ us through. I am at a point now, Lord willing, where I feel like it’s mostly over. Aside from the quarterly MRI’s and check up’s, I feel a weight lifted. You all have been so loving and kind and encouraging and affirming…I am beyond grateful. Eternally grateful for all that you have given me. Your prayers have changed my life. My health, my heart. They were not prayed in vain. I love you all.
What a beautiful and elegantly crafted post. So well written. As a survivor of radiation, I can only agree.
Rest, ginseng, fresh juices and good organic food along with supplements and good proteins have helps me. And now I make things like sauerkraut and pickles. Naturally fermented foods are good… Start in small doses and build up you will find a real true probiotic energy!
May God richly bless you for a lovely explanation of what it is like.