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little Stink

Christian, little Stink, Thankful

It happened. I knew the day was coming. My oldest makes random announcements of Christian’s passing to people we meet or know and while it is uncomfortable for them, I breathe a sigh of relief. Because, I know that is a burden relieved off his big mending heart. He doesn’t break down and cry, he doesn’t say it isn’t fair, he just wants people to know he lost his brother, a baby whom he loved. “My baby brother died”, is actually what he says. And today, he announced it to his entire class of 34 kids when he had the floor. God has shown this mama great mercy in giving me boys who show love and compassion but do not express emotion in a way I am not capable of handling.
In Brayden sharing, his teacher took the opportunity to talk about his loss and a couple other children shared they too have lost a sibling. Older, in birth, in their mommy’s tummy, etc. A sad day for her, I am sure. I praise God for the fact He has allowed B and W to see and feel the value of life and the need for redemption. Christian’s passing has created an organic longing in all our hearts to be reunited with our Savior, whose work on the cross will make all things right. And of course to be reunited with our sweet Christian again. That day shall be a day of rejoicing!

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor shall there be crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.
Revelation 21:4

Birthday, little Stink


Little Stink, 

Happy 6th Birthday love bug.  For some reason your Birthdays are the hard ones. You are the boy who made me a mommy. So naturally, you own a piece of me no other child gets. I love you to heaven and back and am so proud of you I could burst into a thousand pieces. I love your heart above all. All that we have been through in the past couple years, you have proven to be a strong, LOVING, resilient boy who competes like no other. I pray you will always fight the good fight because you love our good God. I pray that is how God will use your competitive spirit. You are determined like I have never seen in any person, well maybe I have seen once or, AHEM, twice, AHEM, {cough; grandparents}, but I am excited to see what God does with you as you get older. You are thoughtful and caring, asking about your brother and what he is doing. You always kiss his grave goodbye unprompted. Which makes me cry, and of course love you all over again. You are the best big brother to Weston and Halle. Playing with them and laughing throughout the day. You keep my eyes dry most days and my heart humble. 
You are a total sports boy. Anything involving a score, you are all in. Especially baseball and football. You are huge. apparantly feeding you poorly for the 1st year of your life paid off, as you are 56lbs. You are smart. All moms say this, but you really are. You definitely have Daddy’s brain. You make up word games and mix up the letters. It’s crazy. I legitimately can’t even play with you. Today, we celebrated your birthday by going to school, (yay for reality),  being surprised with cupcakes from your favorite Miss Bre, seeing planes for the second time while slurping down an icee and tossing back a large pocporn. You saw and or talked to your grandparents and opened gifts and we ended the night cuddling. Just how we started your life. It was a good day. 
At this time 6 years ago, I was in the midst of pushing you out….crying and wondering what in the world life was going to be like….I had no clue how wonderful YOU were going to make our lives. You forever made my biggest dream come true: being your mama. 
I love you always. 

little Stink

Lil Stink

You make daddy and I belly laugh. Sunday at church, this is what you wrote when daddy told you to write your name on your name tag.
Tonight, when asked to dress yourself for bed you show up in your cubbies vest and swim trunks and announce you are an artist. Don’t change, okay? I love you more than life, and I always will.

little Stink

Happy Birthday…

I am trying so hard to turn my mourning into thankfulness, but, at 11:53 September 11th, you will be 5 years old. HOW!?
Being your mommy makes me think we should all have to pass ‘fit to be a parent’ tests before deciding we would like to become one. Just when we think we have it all figured out, you pull the rug out from under us. And I am again humbled. You have the will of an ox on redbull. You are 110% obsessed with baseball, the A’s specifically. All you want to do is play, hit and slide. (all while wearing your head-to-toe A’s uniform) When you know it is not feasable to play, you pretend to play at the misfortune of any small child or object in your way.

You love all sports, but none like baseball. You played your first soccor game and scored 2 goals in the first 5 minutes. When the coach sidelined you, you twitched in antipation to get back out there. Everything you do, you do with passion; I am so excited to see what God does with you.  My prayer is you will know our GOOD God at a young age, and use your gifts and talents to glorify Him. You also love numbers. You want to know what all the numbers make when you put them together, how old I will be when you will be “x age”. These conversations could last hours. you love to talk about heaven, and why it is so great, why do we want to go there, and yet, you are not quite sold. That is ok. I will trust God will change your heart, but in the meantime, I understand. I am not ready to go quite yet either.
You are my cuddlebug, and I love you. I love that when I tell I am sad you are turning 5, you tell me you are sad I am turning “30”. I love that you cried when I told you had to get married and move out. I love that you don’t want to go to heaven because you don’t want to leave me, and vise versa. I love that you play and laugh with your sister when no one is watching. I love that you LIKE to clean your room, vaccuum and clean the glass table. You are my sunshine. You make me happy, and I love you more than you will ever know. Happy Birthday to my big 5 year old who has made life more than I could have ever imagined. You will always be MY baby.

little Stink, motherhood

A Costco story.

It was time class things up a bit, so tonights fine dining experience was Roma al Costco, followed by a shopping trip filling our cart with treasures we didn’t know we needed. We wolfed down pizza and hot dogs and had seconds and thirds with the soda machine. Yah baby.  We even got all crazy and I let little stink pour 4 seconds of his own soda concoction. It looked tasty until he added pink lemonade to his mix. yek. He downed it knee deep in pride. It was kind of sad cute.
Normally I don’t blog about family outings, but this one was actually really fun. I think everyone should have a family costco date night. We only live once, right?
It started off like this:

 Those things haul. And are super fun. I totally grabbed one simply because I qualified. 
 We didn’t hit one thing. Can you believe it? And I got to sneak hugs and kisses the whole time. 
This is what B got when he harrassed the new receipt gustapo for a “mad face” upon leaving. Uhm, yeah. Chad tried defending the guy and said they were B’s medals. I think we all know those would be indicitave of female anatomy 101. B wasn’t laughing. Good times.