Gettin’ there!

Oh my friends. I am saying this more and more and I realize I might be putting myself on an emotional watch list somewhere. No straight jackets please.

These last 3 weeks have been an absolute dream. A realized miracle I was never brave enough to ask for. Truly. God has generously displayed His magnificence and redemptive nature through this faith-filled human, (me), and why He has chosen this girl I do not question. I am just so overwhelmingly grateful. So grateful I could cry at any point during the day with such chest crushing joy. Have you ever had that?

It’s indescribable.

I had my 2 week post op last week. 68 staples evicted. Scab paaaaartaaay! Then we went over the volumetrics. The scans where you can actually see in 3D what is left over and what he removed. He successfully removed 46 cubic inches of tumor people. I am no math major but I think that could have been another almost brain inside my brain. I don’t know if you have ever had the opportunity to see a doctor’s face after God equips them to perform and and execute these miracles-but the authentic joy at being a part of what was the impossible is just the sweetest thing to witness. God gave me a super surgeon and super PA. So loving and kind! Such a blessed gift. This just does not happen. To my wonderful friends and family, thank you for your loving and impactful prayers. All the love and encouragement. I do feel as though God gave all of us a restart/ rebirth/ reset.

Friends, this is what you dared to pray for. 46 cubic inches….gone. You can also see the crazy growth over the years specifically over the last. 

The green is old news. Old tumor. She gone! The blue would be the remnant. .6 yes POINT 6 cubic cm. It’s truly unbelievable. I still want to cry. Every day.

The next time you think you’ll forget to pray, or glance over a request, I pray you will remember I am here. This miracle happened because we/ you all asked and begged and pleaded. It did not have to be this way. Yet, He would still be the same good, ever faithful, ever present God we would and will continue to serve with joy and privilege. He is so full of grace and mercy. These acts of love-they last forever. As does He. Please always pray-you can be a part of God’s answered prayers over and over again in this life. What a beautiful gift for those you petition for as well as your own soul.

Many of you ask, so I share. Recovery has been as good and it has been in extra large part because of all you. Your meals, help, rides, grace, texts, calls, walks, cards…it’s just the best and carries us so far. Chad has been such a gift. The man is my hero. To our parents, my aunt and our beloved friends, our extraordinary church…where would we be without you?

The physical healing is up and down. (Expected). This is by far the biggest surgery, biggest recovery. Much healing and redistribution needed. I am slow. Tire out easily. Get confused. Eat. Try to read, eat. Headache, sleep, eat. I dream about pajamas more so than chocolate which says a LOT people. 

Aaand…no seizures!!!

This is mind blowing in itself..speaking of miracles. My eyesight is better!!?????? Thank you Jesus!! Texting and writing is getting better-ish too.  I think…no one really tells you if you don’t make sense, except my spawn. They are pretty consistent with that. Trying to figure out stupid and necessary things is exhausting y’all.

I do have a pocket of fluid where my incisions meet-we have to get rid of that in order to minimize the risk of a CSF leak. (Where the fluid would come out and I go back to the hospital). In order to minimize this, I have to be as upright as possible, both day and night. Walking is important. it gets everything circulating-thus I am be the lady walking/ hobbling around our neighborhood all day every day. The only lady who, by the way, makes a 28 minute mile look challenging. Your welcome. Confidence booster over here. 🙂 Taking lots of drugs.The kind people do side deals for. There is no commission big enough to make me want these meds or their side effects for myself or anyone else. Praise the Lord this is my reality, and praise Him again for these meds that have allowed me to recover with my pain managed. Driving…is left to you all for the most part. For the obvious. Lord willing I will be getting back on the road soon though. Don’t worry, I drive in the right lane, 10 below speed limit and I white knuckle it the whole way. No music. You’re welcome.

Thank you for your loving and faithful prayers. I love you all!

Happy Sunday!!!

Good news. Mama made it home today!!!!! Michelle asked me to post something quickly to say thank you for all the texts and love that she’s received so far. Unfortunately she’s having to relearn the whole text message thing so she’s asked for some grace in responding to everyone in a timely fashion. She says “I love you all and appreciate all you’ve done for us and my babies”. Will share more later. The good news is that Michelle’s vision is improving and she’s back to her “I’ve got this” ways.I’m sure she’ll get back to everyone ASAP,  we appreciate the love and prayers until  then.

xoxoxo,

Michelle and Chad

Hey all. Just wanted to give a quick update ~48 hours post surgery

the good:

– MRI and scans came back with great results and confirmed that the neurosurgeon removed about 95% of the tumor in total.  We’re praying this means she done with surgeries for a while and they can attack the remaining tumor with alternative means. Pray the remaining tumor doesn’t grow at a rate that we’ve seen over the past few weeks.
– Michelle’s up walking the halls of Hotel Hoag. She did some stairs today as well.

In my professional opinion she’s way ahead of the curve and doing great.

She has been complaining about her eyes being “fuzzy”. She’s had difficulty reading and why she hasn’t been able to respond to all the outpouring of love she’s received. Please pray that this is just a part of the recovery and that she gets her full sight back here soon.

thank you!

chad and michelle

Just a quick update on Michelle. I’ll try and add more info in the coming days.
She made it out of surgery successfully this evening. I’m with her now in the ICU.
We’re overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support across the country.
I spoke with the neurosurgeon after the surgery and he was more than happy with how it went. He believes he got 90-95% of the ENTIRE tumor. MRI tomorrow will confirm. He was extremely shocked that he was able to take out as much as he did. With all the prayers for God’s hand in the surgery going out, I wasn’t as surprised. Great Physician: 1, Earthly physician: 0

The operation took what seemed like forever, but was about 7 hours in total.

Her eye sight seems to be good. She can talk and move and says she’s hungry. We’re working on some ice chips but I’m sure we’ll graduate to jello here soon.

Prayer requests (if I could ask for more than we’ve already taken of your time with God):

– healing. This ones gonna be rough. Long surgery = long recovery with lots of pain management. Not fun seeing your bride suffer.
– protection. No physical setbacks during the recovery. she has a couple of important brain scans coming. That those would show no major concerns/issues.
– wisdom. Enough said

– long term.  No offense to Hoag Hospital but we’d love to not see you for a long time.

Thank you all. We’ll keep you updated as we learn more.
Chad and Michelle

Fair warning-I am all over the place and you can bet your socks all below is much of the same.

Tears and tears and more buckets of tears. I am so overwhelmed with ALL the love. Friends, friends of friends-friends of friends of friends…your love is God’s love and it is so real I can taste it. Thank you my blessings!

This is who and what you are. I am a feeler. Whatever positive or negative purpose this serves it is what I am. Not who, I will not be defined by that, but it is how God made me. Whatever you feel deepest for or about, the way I feel now trumps that 1000%. This experience, seeing God’s work, His love on display so evidently through this trial makes every headache and sacrifice worth it.

This tumor…as hard as this reality has been through the last 10 years, has given me so much more than what it has taken. How could I ever know God’s love for me without feeling His presence, love, spankings, love, wisdom, love, protection, love and then His love yet again?

We hear these convicting/ convincing/ compelling sermons from time to time about our purpose, or gifts, or our mission field. I think in the middle or end of the sermon we respond with a heart of use me! Anything God!

And then maybe we don’t follow up on that. Speaking for myself here also people. I can encourage you from experience, do not be afraid of how He chooses to use and bless you. He equips and empowers you to do and endure what He chooses to use you for.

My prayer for all of you is to see God, not me through this trial. That you would see Him for who He is. The Creator/ our creator/ your creator. That you would accept you are His. With that you would trust in the blood and resurrection of our Christ as payment and promise of eternity. Friends, we are His-God has complete control and protection of our souls here on earth and and forevermore.

I give them eternal life and they will never perish and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all and no one can snatch them out of the Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.

-John 10:28-30

This truth is the core of my peace, my comfort, and my complete ability to surrender. I don’t know that I could ever have made it to this point without knowing and trusting in His sovereign nature and everlasting love for me.

Onto the what if’s.

Ugghhh. I never play that game. NOT.

Guilty.

Unfortunately those are our, my, natural response to circumstances we truly have zero control over. We have to turn those fears, (because let’s be honest that’s what they are), into the opportunity to go back to who God says He is and His ever faithful promises. This is what deepens our trust and faith.

So…what if I make the wrong decision?

He is God who promises to give wisdom.

If anyone of you lacks wisdom ask God who gives generously to all without reproach and it will be given to Him.

James 1:5

What if I lose everything?

He is a God who provides. Manna anyone? Jesus?

What if I am in danger/ might get hurt?

He is a God who protects.

I lift up my eyes to the hills.

        From where does my help come?

    My help comes from the LORD,

        who made heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot be moved;

        he who keeps you will not slumber.

Behold, he who keeps Israel

        will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD is your keeper;

        the LORD is your shade on your right hand.

The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night.

-Psalm 121:1-6

So many verses and promises to help ease our anxious hearts. I share these with you because these are my truths. And this is what I turn to. I pray you will too…we all will be in this corner or the 57 other kinds of corners Satan tries to put us in. We need Him!

While I don’t hope that you all are in THIS situation, I do wish this blessing on everyone. I pray for deepened faith, love and prayers where you can experience God as I do. Truly this is one of the greatest gifts I have ever been given. My family and friends included. This is their trial too.

Thank you again from the bottom of my my lovelies. I am excited to see what God will do!

Rejoice in the Lord always, again I say REJOICE!!!

-Philippians 4:4